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Bereavement

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Complete exhaustion

2 replies

worrieddaughterrr · 11/10/2021 00:40

Hi everyone. I received news a couple of weeks ago that my mother has terminal cancer, no treatment can be offered but she was going to refuse treatment anyway as she doesn't want to be suffering through chemo and endless hospital visits. I knew this and am happy with her decision, we would rather spend time together while she is feeling well (she should hopefully be in very little pain). When we first had the diagnosis she had been in hospital a week after feeling ill. I heard it through Facetime with the doctor as no visitors to hospital permitted and we live a few hours away with no car.

We have been discussing funeral arrangements etc and she is coming to stay with us for a while soon so we are painting the spare room. I cried the first day i got the news but not much since. I am upset but i lost my father suddenly in my twenties and I always worried this would happen with my mother as she is diabetic and had worrying hypos before. To know it's happening in a matter of months has me calmer somehow but I feel very strange.

I have a chronic illness that comes with fatigue so am often tired but this is something else. I am self employed and have taken time off work so I have no commitments per se but i cannot stop sleeping. I will have a couple of hours sleep at night (history of insomnia), i plan to lie in but can't sleep again until lunchtime, wake at 7pm, get up to do some housework and am dying to sleep again so i go back to bed. Has anyone had this? It's very frustrating because i have stuff to do with the spare room, and i would like to get some work done. I just cannot muster the energy and if i don't sleep when tired I feel incredibly nauseous. Just not sure how to deal with it, especially when my mother arrives as i want to spend time with her.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 12/10/2021 08:49
Flowers

I've had to do this twice, with both parents and it is a tough time. It is mentally exhausting as well as any physical exhaustion from travelling or, in your case, a medical condition. I don't have any advice about that really other than be kind to yourself. Drop things that don't matter and concentrate on those that do. Only do the spare room stuff if it makes you feel good - it can wait. Sometimes a distraction is what you need.

Do you have support from friends or family?

NameChangeWithACold · 14/10/2021 07:12

My mum died last month. Life has been physically and mentally exhausting :( I keep replaying the final hours in my head. Not to mention all the lead up to her suing, hospital visits, emotion of seeing her dying. I have had to keep going as full time job and 2 DC, but my body keeps getting ill as I'm so run down. Tuesday I was vomitting at work and had to keep pulling over in laybys on the way home to be sick and to nap - or at least rest my eyes/head. My body needs rest but I can't. Even when I do finally get to lie down to.sleep at night, I can't sleep! We will get through it OP! Flowers

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