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Bereavement

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Is there anything I can do?

4 replies

SolitaryTree · 29/09/2021 09:08

I would really like to help in any way that I can. I know that there’s nothing I can do to bring somebody back but anything practical aswell as offering emotional support.
I have received a phone call from oldest sons old friends mum. They were boyfriend and girlfriend for a while but were very young so nothing serious but they were good friends. They’ve not spoken for a while, no falling out but they broke up and son went off to a stem school last year.
Her mum has called to tell me that her lovely daughter passed away yesterday after contracting Covid.
I feel absolutely heartbroken for her and can’t even being to imagine the pain she must be feeling.
I will speak to my son this evening and gently let him know and be here for him but I just wonder what I can do to help the mum?
We weren’t close but were friendly and we have spent some time on the phone and she understandably sounds in complete shock. They are only 15. I feel awful that I cried on the phone. It’s just so awful and heartbreakingly painful for her.
I’ve offered her an ear and a shoulder whether she needs to cry or just wants to talk about her and told her if there’s anything practical I can do to help then I’m here.
Do I just leave it at that now?
She’s said she’d like to let me and my son know when the funeral will be but I just wish wish there was something I could do for her.

OP posts:
GreenClock · 30/09/2021 08:17

I think you’ve done everything right OP. What a dreadful scenario. I hope your son is coping.

RoseGoldGlasses · 30/09/2021 08:23

I agree you've done everything right op.
This is a horrendous situation.
You can send some flowers from your family to her, I would also drop a text every couple of weeks.
I know when my dad passed a couple of check in texts meant a lot.

SolitaryTree · 30/09/2021 10:18

It’s turns out my son was still in contact with her. Due to lockdown and moving schools they’d not met up at all so I thought they didn’t have contact anymore but he said that they would often speak over messages and the last time they spoke was a month or so ago.
It’s really hit him and he feels guilty for not speaking to her more recently but I’ve told him that he doesn’t need to feel bad for that, nobody could have predicted this.
I don’t think he can fully believe it.
We called a florist together yesterday afternoon and sent some flowers from him and me with his name first to arrive today.
I spoke to his school yesterday afternoon after we talked and they’ve allowed him to have the day off today to process it all and take some time to himself which is great of them.
Thank you for the advice on the texting, it truly is an awful awful situation. I feel pain for the mums pain. I just can’t imagine how hard this must be. It’s so unfair that a 15 year old can just be taken away like that.

OP posts:
mdh2020 · 30/09/2021 10:46

Could you make them a meal and take it round?
Obviously attend the funeral with your son.
Phone her after the funeral - she will not want to phone you. give her space to talk. Maybe meet up for coffee.

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