36 weeks pregnant and mum has died

[Ednadidit]

Just that, really. I’m 36 weeks pregnant with her first grandchild. There are so many things I didn’t ask her. When she had me, my nana was already in a home with Alzheimer’s and I never asked her what it was like to become a mother when yours is already gone.

She was poorly for a little while but just suddenly declined, developed complications and we had 36 hours to spend with her whilst it slowly happened.

Has this happened to anyone else? I’m heartbroken but I need to be ready to welcome my own little girl in a month.

I’ve no advice but I’m so, so sorry for your loss

We lost MIL suddenly 2 years ago when DS was a few months old. It’s really shit 🙁 we’ve now got a daughter too and I know DH struggles with the fact his mum will never meet her.

I don't have any advice but I'm so sorry for your loss.

Hi, so sorry for you and for your mum.
I'm not in exactly the same position, but I also lost my mum pretty unexpectedly a couple of weeks ago. My mum and DC were lucky to cross paths, but so much will be missed and it's going to be hard.
No words of advice I'm afraid, other than to take up all offers of help getting ready for your baby to give you as much space as possible to process what's just happened. I know you don't have enough time, but take what you can from family & friends.

I'm so sorry. I'm in a similar situation. Lost my mum just over a week ago, when my baby was just over a week old. She was not even aware that I've given birth. Last time I had a conversation with her she was telling me how worried she was about me giving birth.

It's my second baby but I had fast labour the first time and I really worried I won't make it to the hospital.
She will never know we are fine and that her granddaughter looks just like me when I was a baby .

It happened to me. It’s 7 years ago now - I miss my Mum every day but I’m used to it now. Delivery was weird - my advice is to tell the team around you exactly what you’re going through- I got such lovely support from my midwives. Sending so much love to you and your baby. xx

I also have a friend whose mum died shortly before she had her baby. It seems to happen more often than you'd think. Sending you all the good thoughts in this difficult time

Thank you all for your kind thoughts. It’s been a week and a half now and I’m praying that baby stays put until the funeral which will be 38+3. I’ve had a lot of contact with midwives, perinatal mental support and bereavement counselling, so I’m grateful that there are lots of services in my area to help me avoid PND.

I miss her so much 😭

@Ednadidit so sorry for your loss and everyone else grieving on this thread. I lost my beloved mum last April very unexpectedly and suddenly couldn't go to hosptial because of covid and she was basically unconscious straight away. She was the best friend I will ever have the tears are flowing just typing this I miss her more than words can explain. I was 33 weeks pregnant when she died with my first and I won't lie to you it's been awful and still is labour was horrible I was hallucinating and thought I could see her in the room. You need to write on your birth plan and ensure whose caring for you knows. Really hope your dh is supportive it really put me and mh husband through the ringer I've been very hard to love but he has stood by me. I am due my second in 4 weeks and a new wave of grief is hitting as the realisation is sinking in I'm about to do this all over again without her. X

I'm so sorry my love. This won't necessarily help much but I find this so moving...women are born with every egg they will ever have already in them. So when you were full term in your DMs body, you had all your eggs including the one that is now your unborn child. So your mother held you and held your unborn baby within her. It's beautiful. Biggest love to you at this emotion time x

That's devastating. So sorry to hear that. Agree with PP, be open and honest with your care givers and those around you and lean on them for support. You need huge support having a baby anyway never mind when this has happened. x