Can anyone advise me - re good friend family bereavement

[BasiliskStare]

My great friend , and I have known know her brother and all his family for ages. We have been to birthday parties etc. Brother's wife collapsed with a brain hemohrrage - sorry - spelling & has sadly died. She was mid 40s and leaves two teenage boys.

My friend asked me not to call as family very very sad. But she did call me today and I missed call -

Any advice as to how to be supportive and kind without making things worse ?

As your friend has phoned you, I would say it's fine to phone back. Or you could send a message saying you'd like to return the call and asking when would be best to phone.
And then when you do phone, just be a listening ear and give your condolences. You could offer practical help if you can think of something specific to offer.

Thank you @EmeraldDaisy - Phoned back and no answer so have texted to say she know I am here when she is ready - Thank you - I though t that was the right thing to do but glad to have some backup. Very difficult . I shall offer her and family support but wait for the time. It is still v ray - Thank you

You could put them in touch with the charity WAY (widowed and young). It is for anyone who lost a husband, wife, partner and they were under 50 years at the time of their death. They have a large Facebook presence and have local groups who meetup across the country. They offer support.

If you have photos, memories of your friend's brother's wife you could send them to your friend. Her brother may not want to see them now but the family may want to see them later on.

Thank you @butterfly990 - it has been a week and I have said I am here but she is not ready to speak - my inclination is to phone her but I have to take her choice. So have said , in her time, phone when she is ready but thank you for the advice re WAY.