How can you be there for someone else's loss?

[zenzi]

So my DP's mother recently passed away, unfortunately I am not in the country and cannot get there within the next few weeks due to travel restrictions, quarantine, etc.

He called me as soon as he found out to share the news but it was really late at night for him so we had a short 10-15 min talk. I sent him a text the next day without expecting a reply of course but just to remind him that I am around for whatever he may need.

I am now unsure about what happens next. Should I just remain quiet until he calls/texts again? It's really difficult to try and be there for him when I'm literally on the other side of the world. I don't want to smother him with texts but also don't want it to seem as I don't care.

I would try and call each morning to tell him I was thinking about him. I would definitely leave him a message if he doesn’t pick up.

He’s your DP! Let him know that you don’t want to mother him but he can call you any time and suggest you talk at some point each day.

‘Mither’ not mother

So sorry about this and what a bad time to be so far away.
Until you can be with him I’d think -
Don’t just text - talk to him even if only to ‘check in with him’ and touch base. He’ll maybe want to talk or not. Do you zoom ? Id do this so you can see each other as you offer support. He might not want to if he is teary but you can help by him knowing it ok (everyone’s grief is different obviously).
Talk about his mum don’t avoid this. Tell him things you remember etc. He’ll be really missing that with you so far away. Share some funny stuff too.
When my lovely old Ma died after the awful shock kind of blanked everything out and after a day or so it was really good to share memories and laugh and cry (sometimes at the same time - both hard).
Is there something practical you can do ? Get easy to sort out food delivered if he’s likely not to shop and without local support ?
You know your relationship best though and what support he would love right now (even though he probably won’t say it).
Good luck op.

If you’re 12 or similar time difference I’d just set an alarm and go without great sleep every now and then to call to check in for a chat and support. So your daily chat isn’t always at difficult/late time for him. So you have actually prioritised him.