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Bereavement

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Struggling

5 replies

zoegem23 · 18/09/2021 18:31

Hello im zoe and I’m 29 years old ,( no children) I’m struggling and I don’t know where to begin. Reaching out to anyone that can advice me really .

My dad passed away suddenly on the 17th august due to a blood clot . He was having chemo for colon and liver cancer . We did live together for 10 years in our 2 bed flat. He was the best dad.

He moved out to care for my nana in the first lockdown . He was much happier with a garden and knowing his mum was okay. I stayed in the flat with my boyfriend of 7 years .

I have many health problems . I have anxiety , depression, flare up of gastritis (inflammation of the stomach lining) , Circulation disease, diagnosed severe ibs , ocd and severe eczema. Just for the cherry on the top.

I have my dads funeral on Friday17 th it’s going to be so so hard . I also have my own small business . I make wax melts . It’s been the best thing for me. I receive pip benefit . I’m feeling like I’m suffocating . Ever since my dad has passed I want to move house and have a fresh start . I feel we have outgrown our flat and although I have great memories here, I feel I need to move on . I haven’t moved for 11 years so I’m terrified too.

My partner has just applied for housing with the army . But there’s no houses atm and as we’re not married we can’t get one and are at the bottom of the list . Also because we don’t have any children ether.( Of course children need to be the first ones to be given housing)

I’m just asking on how you personally deal with waiting . I’m actually very calm and patient normally for appointments , nasty people, etc but this I’m so restless and panicky I just want to get help and be offered a place for our new home . I haven’t had a garden in 11 years. We saw what the house was like in our local camp and I just fell in love. The pros was way more then the cons for us. I just don’t know how I can cope waiting for a house for when I feel so so desperate .

OP posts:
MrsFin · 18/09/2021 18:40

Do you need to wait for an army house? Could you rent one privately?

confessionsOfa · 18/09/2021 18:56

You've been together a long time have you discussed getting married at all is it something you'd like to do eventually

Moonface123 · 18/09/2021 19:06

I am so sorry forfor your loss.
They do say don't make any major changes immediately after a devastating loss, do you think later on down the line you would maybe regret moving so fast ?
It's easy to think you leave all the awful feelings behind, but in my case , l found the grief just fo!lowed me to a new place, l sat with the same feelings amongst a different set of walls, those feelings were in me, no matter where l lived. However l do understand your urge for a fresh start and l wish you luck whatever you decide.

zoegem23 · 18/09/2021 20:43

Yeah we’re on the list , at the bottom as we’re not married ( organising marriage can take just as long unfortunately) xx take up to 6 months :(

OP posts:
zoegem23 · 18/09/2021 20:46

Aww bless you , I just had a click we have been getting fed up before my dad passed away and now it’s happened I just want to go and start a new chapter . I just can’t stand it here anymore , we can’t do privately as it’s so expensive :( xx

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