Parent living alone

[Eirefairy]

Hi all, I would love to hear from anyone with an older parent living alone. My mum died 6 months ago and we have stayed with dad to help him cope. The time has come for us to move out (we will be 1hr drive away via a good road). He has lots of neighbours and my sister nearby, he's in good health. But I am absolutely gutted for him to be alone. He doesn't want to live with us, he would have us live with him but we feel we need our own space. I love him and want him to be happy and also want to look after my husband and I. My husband doesn't like my hometown so we can't move closer unfortunately. Any stories of parents living alone, or tips of how to help them while living an hour away etc really gratefully received. Would love to chat to others who have lost a parent recently as I'm feeling very alone and very isolated.

I have no idea but that must be very difficult. Im so sorry.

@coodawoodashooda thank you. Nothing prepares you for this. He has a lovely house and we are getting him a cleaner, he can cook fine, he's good with his phone so can call and video call but it is just heartbreaking the thought of him being on his own in the evenings

I can't imagine. Is he fit enough to join a club?

@coodawoodashooda he definitely is very fit and healthy, and I will try to suggest a few as there are some walking clubs etc around here. Great idea thank you.

Age uk or u3a will have groups and activities which may help

Maybe Facebook to find similar people?

My mum died 20 years ago leaving my dad a widower at 65. I would say the most important thing is regular contact, lots of chats even about mundane things. Just make sure he is part of your life. (It sounds as if you will!) Sadly my dad wasn't Interested in any hobbies. He did have routines though eg lunch with my sil every Fri, lunch with us every Sun, plus a few other weekly events. I used to worry most about the lonely evenings but most of the time he just got on with things. My children would phone him a lot to settle arguments ask for homework help etc. He loved that!
I think you are amazing for moving in with him to support those early days!

@thesandwich and @coodawoodashooda thanks for the suggestions! Lovely to hear from you @Magissa and I am sorry for your loss. Thank you very much for the tips. I will of course always speak to him and visit as much as I can. Routines are great and I'd love to encourage dad to get into one. Thank you so much about the kind words for moving in with him too. We knew mum was not well so moved in to help, 6 months later she was gone. 6 months on we've been here a year but we just know it's time for us to get our own space. I want to do what's best for my marriage as well as my dad, sometimes feels like being stuck between a rock and a hard place but I am trying my best. Xx