My father died 14 months ago (I was a daddies girl and we were really close) and it absolutely broke me, I kept going for my mum (they were married 42 years) and my 3 other brothers. I am 28 years ago, I have a twin brother, middle brother is 32 and eldest brother is 35. I was their shoulder to cry on and I was strong for them all. I grieved in my own way and with the help from a private counseller.
However 3 days ago my eldest brother hung himself, he didn’t message me or call me, he never told anyone. I don’t understand why? I don’t know how I am going to move past this? How do you just start learning to live with your dad dying and now trying to process that my big brother is not here anymore? I just can’t. I am a mess, I can’t sleep, can’t eat, can’t hold a conversation. This is so hard and I am terrified this is going to completely break my mum. He left behind his 2 beautiful children who are 11 and 8.
The only thing I keep trying to tell myself is that he is back with my dad.
Why is life so cruel? I need a hand hold right now.