Keep dreaming about my friend

[MegBusset]

An old friend of mine died suddenly earlier this year. We were very close (not romantically) for a few years a long time ago although various circumstances meant I had not spoken to or seen him for a long time. Covid restrictions meant I couldn't go to his funeral.

Now I keep dreaming about him, then it hits me again when I wake up that he's gone and I won't see him again.

Not sure what the purpose of this post is really. It's the first time I've lost a close friend (albeit estranged for some years) and I guess this is part of the processing? I was wondering if going to visit his grave might help (is in another part of the country).

I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my best friend a number of years ago now but she still pops up in my dreams from time to time. At first it was really upsetting, for exactly the reasons you describe, but as time has passed I actually find it quite comforting. It’s nice to spend time with her again (the dreams are often quite mundane really) and when I wake up I realise I still remember her voice, mannerisms and laugh really well. In more recent years I also lost an estranged friend who I had been very close to previously. The grief was less intense, but a lot more complex because of the estrangement. This friend also appeared in my dreams and again it was quite upsetting at first, but because of what I’d experienced previously I didn’t worry as much. I figured my brain had lots of things it was trying to process, and again once some time had passed and it wasn’t quite so raw it was nice to spend time with her again. I can’t really advise on visiting the grave, it never worked for me personally but every grief is so personal and it definitely works for some people. What I found helped for me was time, allowing myself headspace to process it all, talking to people and going very easy on myself.