Can I offer a different opinion?
Some p.ps have said that some people just don't know what to do with grief. I feel during Covid the situation has got worse.
I grew up with the kind of attitude that it is not talked about. I don't think it is a helpful attitude to have, or to teach kids and I deal with grief with my own child differently.
I was never taken to a funeral when I was younger, and so dreaded them, mostly because no one had every showed me what to do.
They may think as others have said that it was at the moment appropriate to send thoughts via DH and that he has just forgotton or assumed you would understand anyway.
Nowadays I make a point of saying to someone in person 'I'm so sorry for your loss'. I feel it takes a certain amount of maturity to do this.
However, I really don't think I could bear to watch a funeral online. Especially one where the person was close to me. I would just have to hope others understood. I detest Zoom meetings and the like and dread them anyway. I know I should have got used to it by now, but don't think I ever will.
Please give these people the benefit of the doubt. People I believe go a litlte bit crazy when a bereavement happens, and there may be strange reactions that don't make sense at the time.
I really think it would be better if we talked about grief more and things like a wake I would have appreciated in my life as I feel it really can help people.
There have been so many losses in Covid I think some people including myself just blank things out and can't cope with them.
It would be such a shame if you had a previously good relationship to lose that because of grief reactions which may calm down with time.
I am so sorrry for your loss OP.