Anniversary of stillborn son and death of cat

[TomFunsCakes]

Our cat died on Thursday, we knew it was coming and we would have had to have her put to sleep as she was not going to get better. My husband and children came home before me on Thursday and found her in the porch. We were all heartbroken and yesterday was the anniversary of our first child’s birth who was born sleeping 11 years ago. I struggle every year around this time but the death of our cat has heightened this and made me feel like I can’t cope. I’m grieving for my cat who we had for nearly 14 years and my baby who was born 11 years ago. Our cat was there when I lost our son and I can’t stop crying - I feel like I’ve lost two things which were connected in some way. I don’t know whether that makes any sense.

Aww so sorry for your losses. Maybe it's time to have a chat with your GP, tell her how you are feeling?

I’m so sorry. It makes perfect sense. When my daughter was stillborn, our cats were the only reason we got up some days, to feed them etc. Honestly we say they got us through more than anything.

Sending you love x
Our animals are more than pets, they are family so please don’t feel guilty about grieving for your cat and the connection that it had with your baby.

Yes, it does lovely. A good friend of mine lost her husband and then several years later their cat died. The cat was much loved and part of their lives together and so her grief was very intense. Be excessively gentle with yourself. I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful child and now also for this loss too.

As The unanswered question suggested perhaps contact your GP about your grief if you feel unable to cope 💐

Thank you all for responding so quickly. When I was pregnant she used to sleep next to me. I think she helped me get through the loss of my son and I can’t believe she’s gone, even though I knew it was coming. I can’t stop crying and I wish I didn’t have to go into work.

Maybe have a day off work tomorrow? I have worked through returning back from a hospital appointment when I had just found out I’d had a missed miscarriage and returned too early after cancer treatment. Now I just think I was too hard on myself and should have taken time off, a lot of people do it for much less x

Thank you all for your replies. I know that I went back to work too soon after losing my son and i also suspect I had PND following the birth of my second child. Work is extremely stressful and I feel like I’m sinking. I did see a counsellor for a while (before lockdown) and I did feel it helped.

Oh bless you..I really hope you have been ok this week 💐💕

It makes perfect sense. My mum had a massive reaction to the death of our dog. It was all tied up with her unresolved grief over the death of her mother 20 years before (she didnt get to say goodbye to either).

be kind to yourself.

I think it's common that it gets tied up. I think sometimes it's because you feel have to be strong for everyone else when a family bereavement happens, and it's like the pet is the one that is there for you. Take care of yourself OP, take some time off work if you need.

I'm sorry for your loss, I have a stillborn son , it's horrendous. I understand why your cat passing would just make everything worse...11 weeks...11 months ...11years it never gets any easier.
I just wanted to say I understand.

Also just came to say, this is completely understandable. Like someone else said, when our DD was stillborn our cat was often the reason we got up that day. He barely left our side in the initial weeks after we lost her and I know I’d be devastated to lose him, however many years later. It’s not just the loss of a much loved family member, it’s that connection to your son as well. Maybe going back to a counsellor would help. Hugs for you. X