Really struggling right now

[Mamaofbabyboy19]

I’ve just got out of hospital 15-05-21 after giving birth to my daughter who was born at 17 weeks old obviously she didn’t survive due to her having megacystis which is an extended bladder condition that was effecting her kidneys! I give birth to her naturally and I held her for 15 hours untill I said my goodbyes and I left the hospital, now that I’ve gone I’ve had 8 panic attacks and I’ve been sick 5/6 times! I don’t no what to do how to deal with this pain, I have a 2 year old boy that really needs his mama and I’m struggling to be his mama and feel the way I do right now 😭 please any advice is grateful I just want to stop feeling like this it hurts so bad!💔😭

I’m so sorry for your loss. I have no words of advice but I’m sure others who have been where you are now will be along shortly.
Have the hospital put you in the direction of bereavement counselling? Thinking of you

Nothing has been put in place apart from 12 weeks from now I get an appointment to find out what went wrong with my baby, why this happened to her. They also give me lots of charities that helps with this but none of them are 24 hours. I'm currently on the phone trying to phone Samaritans but the phone keeps getting hung up! I'm seriously struggling with feeling the way I do right now. I feel so empty and apart of me died with my baby girl 😭😭😭

Oh you poor thing. Il send you my number if you message me If you wanna talk. Not sure if that’s allowed but honestly if your struggling speak to someone. My friend lost her boy at 20 weeks. It’s awful.
I nearly lost my baba when she was born. I felt only a fraction of what you are feeling. Vent/cry/ feel shit all you want! You’ve lost your baby and what could have been. Give yourself time. Things will get easier. Snuggle your son and take things slow xxx

Full blown panic attacks are normal and being sick. Your body will be in a lot of shock. I hope you’ve got someone supportive to help you and your not alone. Also if you’re really bad ring 111 or go to a and e, they can prescribe diazepam to get you through the next few days and help you sleep. Or other medications that help with sleep/ nervousness. Honestly I feel for you x

I give birth to my daughter and I was all alone, my husband has now decided he wants a divorce because he was only staying with me as it was the right thing to do, I don't have any family, I haven't slept, eaten or anything since Thursday I'm just dead inside and I feel guilty as I have my baby boy in his bed right now happy and healthy I should be grateful for that but I can't be his mama right now, I'm clearly not taken care of myself right now never mind a 2 year old, I mean I will because I'm his mother and I love his very much he's my world but I'm seriously struggling with everything at the moment 😭😭😭😭

Girl you’re husband/ex husband sounds an absoloute prick. I’m sorry he’s not there for you. This is a rough time but you’ve got your lovely boy to focus on. It’s Sunday tomorrow so try to sleep even though your hurting. Tomorrow is a new day. Take it slow, go the park with your boy. Have some happiness with him. It sounds like you need it.
You need to eat. You need to sleep. Why don’t you go out and buy a big breakfast tomorrow for you both?
Forget your ex for now. You’ve got this. It’s just gonna be up and down for a few weeks whilst your processing it. Have you got any friends you can call? It doesn’t matter what time of the night, you need them x

Don’t beat yourself up for not being grateful for your little boy right now. You must be in complete shock and need time to grieve. Can your husband or family look after your little boy while you get rest and try and get some help? Please keep
Talking to us on here if you need to xx

I'm back with my baby girl right now and I feel whole again but I no I have to leave her 😭😭

It’s natural to feel totally heartbroken. You’re in shock and deeply grieving. And a part of you has died with the loss of your daughter. You will get past this awful time but it’s going to be a process. It’s always particularly hard at weekends because there are not so many helplines or people around to listen. You will just have to try to talk to everyone you can and you might find this helpful. Do you have anyone around to take your little boy out so that you don’t need to worry about him today?

You poor thing and poor baby. She’s beautiful and she looks so peaceful. I feel for you xx

Hi op,
I'm so sorry, I cudnt read and run and your photo aswell.
I've been there, lost my first at 18 weeks and then my 3rd at 34 weeks. Honestly this is such a brutal time, it's hard, heartbreaking, painfull, life changing. I have no words of wisdom, just know your not on your own, I hope your have people in real life to help you through this, sands charity, and abigals footsteps I went through. , the sands fbpage does have a lot of pictures of baby's that have passed I was not prepared for that, so just be careful .
But all of that didn't help me at first, you've just got the breathe. Get through the day and night.
I also have a 2 year old, who was looking at me all sad and Confused, just focus on him as much as you can. This is so awful, lm so sorry, sending you a massive hug, thinking of you xx

Yea I went to see her today but I changed my mind about bringing her home just because of my two year old. I've sat with her all day and I sung to her, talked to her, said everything I needed to say, kissed her 10000000 times and most importantly told her I love her a millions times and then some! I'm a lot better now I feel like I've done everything I can up untill this point and now I'm making things to go into her casket on her final journey to heaven and I have some beautiful little things that I'm so happy with, I've ate today I'm going to have a hot bath and take a sleeping tablet to help me tonight but I feel like I can breathe again! ❤️ thank you everyone for your help and support I appreciate it from you all and thank you, I still have a long way to go but for now I'm kinda at peace knowing I've done everything I can up untill now, now I'm just going to make sure she has the perfect send off like she deserves 💗💗

Having a bad night again and it's just to much really 😭😭

Just breathe. Read your last message you put on the 16th you ate, had a bath and relaxed and self care. It is going to be a hard journey to start. You’ve just lost your baby. Also did you have a tablet to help you sleep?
Keep reminding yourself your doing the right thing looking after yourself and be patient. Your still grieving 🤍 everything will be okay. Ring a close friend or write a huge letter that you would to your baby. Doesn’t matter how many pages, get all your emotions out in front of you. Then leave it for the day. You can do this xx

Some moments are going to be good, you will feel like you’re making progress then it will hit you all over again and you’ll feel down trodden and over run with grief. This is all normal. You’re just trying to process what’s happened 🤍 be gentle with yourself x

Hope your ok x