Getting married without my mum

[GreenFlamingo11]

So I'm due to get married in less than a year and sadly my mum won't be there. She died just over two years ago. Initially I thought I would be okay but now as the day is getting closer I find myself missing her and dreading the day without her more and more. My family are great but most of my friends still have their mums so they don't really "get" it. They can only imagine it in an abstract way, or it just doesn't occur to them what I'm feeling. I'm planning to incorporate some memories of her into the day and I'm sure it would be lovely but I just wish she was here. I wish she was here to hear about all the plans and help pick out my dress and just make a fuss of me the way only mums can. I wish I could help her choose an outfit and get her advice on everything. Not really looking for sympathy
just wanted to vent. For anyone else who has been through this, did the absence affect your day a lot?

I'm really sorry you've gone through this. Sending you love and thoughts. I don't really have much advice / experience but didn't want to read and run so commenting to bump your post up the feed xx

Thank you blakeway, that is kind of you to say.
Gentle bump for anyone else who may have done through similar without a parent.

My dh mum died unexpectedly 2 months before we got married. We mentioned her in the speeches and toasted her but that was it to remember her by. Yes there were tears from lots of people. It was still our day. She would not have wanted the day to be about her.

@Mumof1andacat I had exactly this scenario but my mum not DHs. My dad couldn't be there because he has dementia. We both mentioned Ma in our speeches, and the vicar did a nice bit about absent friends. It was bittersweet and there were tears but not overwhelming, which I think is probably what she would have wanted. I took great comfort from knowing she loved my DH and approved of our plans and life together.

Been there unfortunately

Shee was mentioned in the speeches and there was a tear or two. But the speeches were very balanced, paid respects to her gently but lots of laughs etc so nobody got too morbid. I'd a locket with her picture in my flowers, my sister wore mums special earrings etc but surprisingly we had a fantastic day filled with fun love and laughter thankfully. It wasn't as sad as I'd thought it would be not having her there as there's so much going on and you get caught up in the joy of it.
The sadness of not having her really hit me the next day however so be kind to yourself

Thank you everyone, I'm going to do my best to enjoy the day and not get too upset. I hadn't even thought of how I'd be feeling the day after, thanks for that Twistered.
I feel lucky she got to know my OH and liked him a lot, I know others aren't so lucky in that respect.