PRM, Infection, Baby loss, Future pregancies ??

[babyloss]

My waters broke at 22 weeks. Tested positive for infection. Admitted to hopital where I stayed for 16 nights. My daughter Abigail was born on 30 Sept at 24 weeks but was only alive for a matter of minutes as she didn't respond to resus. We were very lucky to have had time with Abigail before she passed away.

Been 6 weeks, grief is not getting any easier. Miss her dearly and feel so cheated. Awaiting consultant appointment to get results of various tests of why it happened. Been told not to expect any answers and that liklihood is that it will be a 'natures way' response.... which ~I think I can deal with.

Was warned that infection could result in tubes closing to protect eggs ... so also not sure if we would be able to conceive naturally going forward ..........

Am 35, Grieving loss. Wondering about future pregnancies although they could never or would never replace Abigail. Anybody experienced anything similar? Any positive stories out there ....?

A huge hug, that is so hard. Another baby will never replace Abigail, I'm glad you appreciate that. I, luckily for me, have no experience in this area but would think you need time to grieve before you have her little brother or sister. I'm glad you're not counting on scientific explanations to give you closure. Six weeks is so recent - if she had lived you would still be in shock with hormones all over the place and you have so much more to deal with. Give yourself time. Good luck when you're ready

Thanks Yorky.

a good friend of mine had the exact same thing happen to her, and she now has a beautiful baby girl.

Thanks Cazboldy - good to hear positive stories. Like Yorky says, still early days and need to grieve first - but reassuring to hear that others have had children after such an experience

we lost our little boy at 21 weeks in April 2003 after prom 2 weeks earlier - completely devastating. i have had 2 pregnancies since, one a mmc and the next resulting in a little girl born in March 2006 - she was also v prem (27 weeks) and my whole history points to some sort of underlying problem. had virtually weekly consultant care for that pregnancy - i hope you get the same sort of help when you next get pregnant. i remember well the early days after losing Max and i know that no words are of comfort but time does make things more bearable.

Huge sympathy. It must have been unbelievably painful to have known your baby alive just before she died. Although my situation different from yours, I hope I can offer some empathy. I had to have a termination at 22 weeks as my baby was seriously ill and on the way to dying inside me. That was at the end of August and my consultant's appointment is at the end of November, so like you, I'm still waiting to find out what happened, although the prognosis for me is most likely a genetic problem. I'm praying it's a one-off. I already have a healthy 2.5 year old daughter, but I'm terrified this may recur in future pregnancies.

We had a funeral for my son - just me and my husband - and that really helped us to find some closure on his death. I gave him one of my favourite poems, and one of my favourite songs and so now I have something to remember him by. Was painful - especially to see how pitifully small the casket was - but felt good to grieve.

I'm 35 early next year, so have been worrying about age too, but having babies at 35 almost feels young these days. And on a positive note, I can't think of a single person this sort of thing has happened to who hasn't gone onto have a healthy subsequent pregnancy and I've spoken to/read about a lot believe me. That's what I'm holding onto!