Holding a wake

[Tearsofthemushroom]

Does anyone have any good advice about holding a wake? We are burying my FIL on April 15th and will have 12 people attending. I had assumed that we would be able to go home and sit in the garden afterwards but on reading the guidelines today I see I am wrong. I have phoned a few village halls etc. but everything seems to be closed still. We are a very far-flung family so hard to imagine that we would be able to get together at a later date.

Any funeral I've been to (or known about) in the last year have not had a wake. Funeral only then home

So frustrating when the government say you can hold one with up to 15 from April 12 but there doesn’t seem to be any venues

We could legally have had a wake after my dad's funeral but only for 15 people and there were more than 20 people at the funeral, so for that reason and because it would have been horrible having to stick to our bubbles during the wake we didn't have one. A few of us did go and get takeaway coffees after the funeral and stood and sat outside the coffee shop to drink them and to talk. We distanced from other households as best as we could. I'm sure that was illegal or at least against guidelines, but we didn't feel we could just head straight home (or in my case head to my hotel). Nobody told us off or reported us or moved us on, and as the coffee shop was very near the crematorium I don't imagine we were the first to do this.

Was just about to post a similar question.
A relative has died and the funeral is on the 12th. The roadmap says that Wales can take place with up to 15 people but there is no guidance (yet) on where this could take place. We’re going to call some restaurants etc next week but without there being clear guidance I can’t see them agreeing. At the moment MiL’s back garden seems to be the best option but it’s not even clear if that will be allowed. Ditto a group of 15 at an outside table at a restaurant.

Ps @Tearsofthemushroom
What makes you think the garden plan is wrong?
Afaik the only guidance atm is this which doesn’t really say anything at all. Have you found more updated guidance ?
www.gov.uk/government/publications/covid-19-response-spring-2021/covid-19-response-spring-2021-summary#step-2---not-before-12-april

It’s so hard isn’t it? I don’t have an answer. I’m trying to arrange my DF’s funeral which is on 13th April and it’s such a lacklustre affair . We are having a simple cremation but for those who have made the effort to come far it seems terrible to send them on their way after 30 minutes and not be able to talk to them properly. My DM can’t cope with people back at the house, the weather is doubtful for being in the garden (which appears to break the rules anyway I think) and absolutely nowhere can cater for even a small group. I think we are going to forget the wake as it’s just too tricky trying to organise it. Covid took so much away from my DF in his last year, no family, no friends, no visits or visitors, trapped in hospital alone, scant end of life care and now it’s spoiling his exit. I really feel for you and your family @Tearsofthemushroom and anyone else dealing with bereavement at this time.

My heart goes out to you.
I lost my Dad end of 2020 and my Mum at the start of 2021.
We just had a really small wake back at my Mums for my Dads funeral for immediate family. We then did similar for my Mums funeral in my garden.
It was really sad. Covid made things so much harder.
We just tried to make the funeral and the small wake as meaningful as we could.

Oh @terraclutter how very tough for you to lose both parents so close together . I think you’re right, we just have to make the best of it and keep in mind that the handful of people at the funeral and lack of a wake is no reflection on our loved ones.

@Tearsofthemushroom I hope you found a solution. I think mine is to just accept there can’t be a wake and try and make the Eulogy I’m writing as special as I can (and hope the webcast works well for all those attending virtually). Damn Covid.

Absolutely. We are going to have a family get together later in the year as we found a random village hall but felt that it wouldn’t have a good vibe in the end.

I had my dads in my garden with only close family members. Imagine cremating your relative and then going home a d carrying on a normal no thanks. Rules or no rules. We had 9 in our garden told neighbours ect and it comforted us all.

Yes I agree @teawomen, there needs to be a punctuation between the funeral which is such an all consuming event and normal life reasserting itself. We are “breaking the rules” by returning to my mother’s house on Tuesday (my dad’s funeral) and having tea as a family, which is 10 of us from 3 different households, so strictly not allowed. Rain and 9° here that day so outdoors not great. But you’re absolutely right about the need to have something.