Im fckd

[Grandfather]

I dont know how to feel My mother passed away last week everything is changing
I havnt been there for my daughter and Grandchildren im trying to help my son now Leannes life is falling apart (nit using dh or dgs we are real people not just acronyms) Cody has been late for school all week
and Scarlett has had her antipsychotics ramped up Paul has started shitting in corners again life has started to fall apart
social services have got involved
im not asking for advice i know whats happening i and i know i need to pull out of this and get on before the things i love most get taken away
sympathy is a poor mans luxury
i am drunk writing this and i will probably regret
Funeral is Monday im terrified but at the same time need the closure
Tuesday i move in with my daughter full time i have my own place but i realise it would be unfeasible to drive backwards and forwards every day
So how would that work shes my Daughter not my wife
im Grandad not Dad
My grandchildren have taught me more about me than anyone else ever did such unconditional love
im rambling now so many thoughts and feelings all at once
im sorry i just needed
just for a second

Hi, I couldn’t read and not respond. I am sorry for your loss. Take a breath you have just lost your wife who you made this family with. You sound like an attentive, attuned grandfather who cares deeply for not only your grandchildren but your children too.

In my family the men are emotionally distant, I have unconsciously repeated this in my choice of partner. I was blown away at how much you care and are involved. They are lucky to have you.

For the funeral I hope it goes as ok as it can. Rally around and support each other, you have set a great precedent

I really hope Paul is your grandson and not your son in law .

Death is hard let it hit you for a weekend but after the funeral time to be dad again.

From the sound of it your grandchildren could do with one.

funeral is Monday im terrified but at the same time need the closure

F.e.a.r, forget everything and run or face everything and rise.

Hey, I’m so sorry about your mum I understand you want/need to help your daughter and others in your life urgently but please also give yourself time to grieve. Your life appears to have been turned upside down quickly and people should be sympathetic of that.

You recognise that others need your help before everything spirals out of control, and I think it’s very selfless of you to move to support your daughter and grandchildren at this time. Will you still have your own place to go back to if you need some space/rest?

Hello again, @Grandfather. I was wondering what had happened to you the other day, so sorry for your loss. (You won't recognise my username- I've name changed.)

I agree with PP that you need to take time for yourself here. You can't pour from an empty cup. Also, don't worry unduly about social services- even if they do see fit to remove the children from their mother, they try wherever possible to keep children with family members, so the children may well come to you in that scenario. I'd advise you keep your own place even if moving in with your daughter temporarily for this reason.

Ty everyone
All wise and well meant words
Im glad there are still some good people in the world
Im typing this the Funeral was today
Im at my Mothers house now and everyone has left
Except me my son and daughter
Was a good funeral (if a funeral can be good ?
Met my other Daughter i havnt seen in 15 yrs
Im so angry about that (am i allowed to express that ?
We had a great relationship that her mother broke for a while
but we clicked straight away seems she is autistic too
she understood when someone asked me if im alright and i said No
My Mothers dead (Some people think its sarcasm but its not
its just litterall
Now life goes on My Daughter is cracking under the strain
and everything has been let go too far
now my Mother has gone i will have more time for leanne and the kids
feeling a bit more purposeful hoping for a good summer
Life moves on
So "Opalfruits2"
"CartBfree"
"Switchup"
"Hamfisted"
Thanking you for taking the time to reply
Helped me a bit

Actually helped me a lot :)

Hey @Grandfather

When I first replied to you I typed ‘hope the funeral goes well’ and then deleted as wasn’t sure if a funeral can go ‘well’... Glad it was a good one

Hopefully your daughter (Leanne?) and the kids will be ok now, they’re very lucky to have you with their best interests at heart. I’d say that the majority of people won’t have somebody who is willing to step up and stop the ship from going down in the storm so what you’re doing is so incredibly selfless. It’s also great that your daughter is able to tell you about her struggles so you’re aware of what needs to change, hopefully the social workers will also recognise your support too and all outcomes will be positive ones.

You’re right, life always moves on. This is just a chapter - indeed, with hardship will be ease.

Im lucky to have them

im looking after everyone i love
I worry when i cant look after me