Dad’s first birthday without my Mum

[Spacebound]

Hi everyone,

I lost my amazing Mum two weeks before Christmas and we are all struggling.
It’s my Dads birthday this weekend (the first without my Mum) and I know he is dreading the day. They were soulmates and did absolutely everything together and as you can imagine he is heartbroken.
I am planning a family meal on the day but I was just wondering if anyone had any advice on how to help him through the day?

Thank you xx

Hi Space, I hope you are managing to get through the weekend ok and you are managing to support each other,. It sounds like a very hard milestone to get over.

Is your Dad likely to want to talk about your Mum or would that upset him too much? I would maybe take my cue from him, sometimes just sitting by him might be enough, or he might want to look at photos or reminisce.
You sound lovely and I'm sure he is very lucky to have you in his life to support him through this.

I hope this helps

Hi Spacebound,

I am so sorry about your Mam. I have no words or advice it’s my mams birthday this week and it’s her first without my Dad after losing him last year. I can tell she is dreading it and is on edge she burst into tears having dinner with us tonight because my boys were slagging everyone's. I’m thinking of doing a family meal too I think the most important thing is that we are with her but I’m preparing myself incase she wants to be alone . It is such a sad hard time for our Mams and Dads who have lost their soulmates xxx

Does he know about the meal?

My mum's first birthday after dad's death was two weeks after so it was a given to have nothing, no cards etc.

She now has a card and that's been it because of lockdown but I suspect she doesn't want to do it anymore anyway.

I would ask and not assume. On the first anniversary of my dad’s death my mum declared that we would be doing nothing because she had booked the car in for a service. So that’s what she did and that’s what we did. A family meal would not have been appreciated!