I'm so lost

[sweetpotatopie12]

I lost my mum to covid 8 weeks ago. I've been fine all day up until now and I'm falling to pieces. I have a two year old daughter to keep strong for, my husband is looking after her whilst I have a breakdown in the bath.

She was so young and had everything to live for. I don't want to be a mum without my mum bit I have to be. My husband and I were thinking of having another one before she died and now I can't think of anything worse but can't stand leaving my daughter alone when we die. I only have a dad and a sister, my husband only has a brother.

I feel like my heart has been ripped out. Everyone's been telling me to remember it's my Mother's Day too and enjoy myself but I just want my mum back

Seeing everyone complain on here about Mother's Day makes me sad too. I'm just so lost 😞

So sorry to hear about your loss . Maybe get some bereavement counselling. Be kind to yourself

That must be so hard for you - I'm sorry for your loss. I think just try and get through today, and then tomorrow see if you can source some grief counselling. Maybe have a chat to your GP?

You know that your Mum loved you to bits, and would want you to do the best that you can for your DD.

Thank you I've had some counselling through work for 5 weeks but honestly he's just been listening to me how I'm feeling and there's very little feedback or grief advice. My work is trying to see if there's anything else for me through EAP but it's just tough getting through each day. Especially today

Today is always a tough one - my 5th without my Mum. And sadly, my DF died on Mother's Day, so it always feels like a double whammy!

It's still such early days for you, and you have to go through the deep grief - there's nothing wrong with that, it's a natural progression. Don't expect too much of yourself, and do whatever you need to do to help you through today.

I lost my mum 19 years ago in February- before I even had children. The first Mother's Day was particularly horrific.
Today, I've remembered her fondly, talked about her, put the Daffs my children bought me in a vase she gave me, she'll always be with me, her influence will always shape my parenting but it gets easier once the sharp grief subsides

My heart goes out to you @sweetpotatopie12 it sounds like today is an understandable low point but you will get through this, be kind to yourself 💐

I lost my brother a similar time ago. My family feels very 'small' now too. I've just got my DM and DB now. My DD is an only and I kind of planned for her to be that way. Now I find myself considering another because I don't want her navigating the world alone when DH and I are not around. Grief does weird things to you.

I'm not surprised today is so hard for you. I don't think grief is something you can understand for somebody else. The relationships you have with people are so unique. I don't feel like there is much proactive help for grief either, it's like you're just waiting for it not to hurt as much

Oh bless you.
This is my first mother's Day without mine but she died last year.
Be kind to yourself.

I'm so sorry you lost your Mum. It is such early days in your bereavement. Please don't put too much pressure on yourself. Be gentle on yourself and allow yourself to just 'be'.

I lost my son 7 years ago and my mum 6 years ago. Mother's Day is very hard for many people. I'd advise keeping off social media as I find it more painful. It does get less raw but it's time that is the healer.

My personal experience is that bereavement is a long and natural (albeit painful) process. There is no quick easy fix. I'm never sure that counselling so early on in the journey is very helpful. I think for a long while you are in shock and not really in a place to benefit from counselling.

Bless you, I'm with you, sending love. My mum died 8 weeks ago Tuesday. I'm a lot older than you but it's still hard. Cuddle your baby, let your DH support you and muddle through. Tomorrow will be a good day 😘

Sending a gentle cuddle, OP. Thinking of you, didn’t want to read and run 💐

So sorry OP 💐💐💐

I am so sorry for your loss

@minmooch
Can't believe it's been 7 years.
Hope you are well

I'm so sorry for your loss. It must be so hard for you. Don't feel guilty for being upset or that you have to hold back the tears. It's understandable that today will hit you hard. Keep talking if you need to, don't bottle things up. We are here to listen and support too if it helps.
With regards to having another child, things are still really raw right now, just take things a day at a time, and that decision will become easier and clearer in time. for you op.

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, it's so very recent and raw 💐

I readily admit I had 2DC, and may have considered a third except for my age, as my family is very small. It's now us- me, DH, 2 young adult DSs and my single DB. DH has a DB in Australia, who thankfully is married; but that's it.

So sorry for your loss.

Thank you everyone I wish I could reply individually tonight but my head is hurting and I'm going to bed as soon as my little one's asleep.

Sorry for everyone who's had a loss xxx

So sorry for your loss. It really is very early bereavement wise, just try to take it one day at a time ( or even 5 mins at a time). I found distraction helpful. You wont get over losing your Mum BUT you will get better at coping, and you will eventually get used to the idea that she isnt here anymore - hurtful as that sounds.
Just do whatever you need to to get through each hour, each day etc.
I wish you all the best xxx

I'm so sorry for your loss. I also lost my mum to covid just over months ago.

It's a loss nobody understands unless they've been there. I'm sad, I get tearful and I have so many triggers.

I've found a support group for the covid bereaved and so much of what is said resonates. I'd recommend it.

www.facebook.com/groups/covidlosssupport/?ref=share

Seeing everyone complain on here about Mother's Day makes me sad too. I'm just so lost
I understand.

I had to hide all mother's day threads, as they triggered me.

When I see threads with people complaining about their mums I get triggered...I just have to hide them.

[quote Sisterlove]I'm so sorry for your loss. I also lost my mum to covid just over months ago.

It's a loss nobody understands unless they've been there. I'm sad, I get tearful and I have so many triggers.

I've found a support group for the covid bereaved and so much of what is said resonates. I'd recommend it.

www.facebook.com/groups/covidlosssupport/?ref=share[/quote]
Thank you so much, it all came to a head yesterday and for the first time in my life I didn't want to do anything, speak to any one, I just wanted to go back to bed and hide from the world so I did.

Thank you for the link I will take a look and I am sorry for your loss x

You're welcome.
I frequently just burst into tears. My life is not the same and it feels so unfair that mum was stolen from us when life was great.

The feelings of intense sadness are overwhelming at times.