What help is available? Struggling to cope

[Glitterb]

I have got to a point were I cannot cope in the grief process, it has been bubbling away for a while but it is effecting my life now. I don’t want it to be this way anymore.

I lost my Dad in 2018 after a traumatic battle with cancer and I lost my Mum suddenly last year, again it was a traumatic death and I carry a lot of guilt about it. I am in my early 30s and I just cannot cope anymore, I feel lonely, exhausted and a burden to my friends/partner/remaining family. As a result of this my relationship is falling apart around me, I don’t feel good enough for him anymore or the person he needs.

This morning I woke up and just thought I can’t do it anymore alone and I need some help. People offer to help but they just offer pity and change the subject. I am a strong person but I feel ground down now, the lockdown doesn’t help as it is impossible to see a GP at my practice and doing it over the phone just makes me want to not do it at all.

I don’t want to rely on medication but I do want to feel better and would be willing to try it. Will it be helpful or likely to make things worse?
Talking therapy has also been offered but that is a massive waiting list so that isn’t likely to help anytime soon.

Sorry for the ranting post, I just needed to off load!

Hi OP, you’ve been through so much, it’s totally understandable that you are struggling and need some help. Please don’t worry about sharing on here-it’s good to get things out.
There is lots of help for you. Your GP would be a good start, yes some aspects are on the phone but some can be face to face. So please make the call and start the process.
Another option would be Cruse, the bereavement Care, their helpline number 0808 808 1677, you’ve been through a lot and perhaps talking through some of it with them will be helpful.
Do you work at all? Sometimes employees can access EAP through their employers to get fast track to talking therapies.
I understand the reluctance contacting your GP but this could open the door to you feeling better and gaining support you need and deserve.
You sound strong OP to have come this far, better times are coming.