Absolutely heartbroken

[sad1212]

My ex MIL passed away today and I have no words to explain the pain I'm feeling.
Such a mixed bag of feelings at the same time. Because I feel like I have no right to be so upset and very conscious of that fact when speaking to XDH and XSIL.
I have 3 children- which are all her grandchildren and been split up with her DS for approx 6 years now. While we was together I wouldn't say we got on brilliantly but since we ended she has been like a second mother to me, has always made me feel part of the family and is going to be such a huge miss.
The grief I'm feeling is indescribable, never had to deal with death before.
So I'm struggling with the right things to say to my DC, their very upset and I'm there, supporting them, but no idea how to explain it put it into words for them. Youngest DC is 9, then 13,16.
Does anyone have any advice

OP "Because I feel like I have no right to be so upset and very conscious of that fact when speaking to XDH and XSIL. "

Someone you love has passed away. You have every right to be upset. I'm sorry.

I do think it's important to be mindful of the relationships - I haven't forgotten one of dad's vague acquaintances telling me how much she was struggling to cope with his death! - but you were close, of course you are upset.

The first couple of weeks after a loss are grim but honestly, it will get better.

I know it doesn't feel like it now, but things will get better. Lots of hugs to you and yours

Thank you

It's just so hard. I'm 35 and never had to
deal with death ever.

I am being mindful of the relationships maybe a little too mindful, just don't want them to think I'm "forgetting my place"

she means the world to me and can't imagine my life without seeing or speaking to her again. I am struggling and trying my very best to be strong for my kids.

I am being mindful of the relationships maybe a little too mindful, just don't want them to think I'm "forgetting my place.

Usually families realise that a person they love a lot will also be loved by many others. You have every reason to grieve fir someone who was a part of your life and who you loved.

I'm sure you won't do anything wrong

There's a walking on eggshells factor, I know. You have to make judgements. When dad died, I tried not to cry in front of mum because I was the main person keeping her from collapse.

Swallowing tears, saving them for later etc can be bloody hard but sometimes it's the right thing to do. You will probably be guided by instinct which is fine.

I'm sure they will appreciate how much you loved her. I must attempt to go to bed but I'll keep this thread on watch so you can say what you like here.

Yeah Definately feel like I'm walking on eggshells. I'm sure they wouldn't voice anything to me but would Definately talk about it between themselves. I did love her very much. Life is so cruel sometimes isn't it. She was taken so suddenly with no warning at all and was still so young.

I can't explain how much I appreciate your support and taking the time to comment on here, was feeling very alone so I'm glad I can vent on here.

So glad that you found talking on here helpful