not sure how I feel

[bettbattenburg]

My Dad died a year ago. I just got home from work to find an email telling me that his wife of 20 years died yesterday. I don't really know how I feel if I'm honest.
I don't know why I am sharing this either really.

Did you get on with her? Sad? I think it would be like losing another link to your dad.

There’s no right or wrong. But often the loss following a significant loss actually makes us express or feel the first loss more intensely- possibly more so given their link.
Do you want to talk about it @@bettbattenburg

I guess there are lots of things you could feel depending on the circumstance and situation and your relationship
Do you want to tell us about it?

I got on with her but also I didn't because she was OW and was my Mum's friend so it was a difficult relationship. I think it's difficult because it's the anniversary of my Dad dying and so I'm more emotional and also because she was younger than my own Mum. My Dad was younger too but that's normal for men. It's making me more aware of my own Mum's very advanced age.
She made my Dad happy and that's what mattered more than other things.

What you are feeling is completely understandable. You had a difficult relationship with her because of conflicting loyalties so it's understandable that your feelings are muddled. It'll take time.