I can't read anymore.

[DareIask]

Lost my father about 18 months ago, followed by only sibling last year. We were very close and I am still really struggling.

I've always been an avid reader... have lost myself in books all my life. But now I just can't!

I can't concentrate, can't be interested. I really need to get this back.. lockdown and no reading is just awful.

Is this weird?

Firstly, I am sorry for your losses.

I don’t think what you’re experiencing is weird at all. You have been through so much and there is a lot to process, so not surprising you can’t focus on reading. And to not be able to at a time like this is another kind of loss.

Have you tried shorter pieces of writing? Short stories (Elizabeth Taylor is very good). Or poems? Someone gave me Eric Newby’s Traveller’s Tales when I was on maternity leave ages ago. It is a collection of lots of different travel writing: short extracts that are ideal if you don’t have a lot of time, or are distracted. And escapist, too, at a time when we can’t go anywhere.

Meantime, if you are in the UK have you tried ringing the Cruse bereavement helpline? They can offer emotional support and signposting, if it is helpful.

I wish you well.

I was the same when my Dad died, it took a while before I could read anything at all.

@Travellinglights

Firstly, I am sorry for your losses.

I don’t think what you’re experiencing is weird at all. You have been through so much and there is a lot to process, so not surprising you can’t focus on reading. And to not be able to at a time like this is another kind of loss.

Have you tried shorter pieces of writing? Short stories (Elizabeth Taylor is very good). Or poems? Someone gave me Eric Newby’s Traveller’s Tales when I was on maternity leave ages ago. It is a collection of lots of different travel writing: short extracts that are ideal if you don’t have a lot of time, or are distracted. And escapist, too, at a time when we can’t go anywhere.

Meantime, if you are in the UK have you tried ringing the Cruse bereavement helpline? They can offer emotional support and signposting, if it is helpful.

I wish you well.

Thank you.

You actually made me quite tearful.

Tears can help, too. Take good care of yourself.

I’m sorry. Have you tried audio books or podcasts? Might help distract you

I'm sorry for your loss.

I was unable to read for several years for similar reasons (emotional trauma). In the end, I kickstarted it again by re-reading a series I had read some years previously. It meant I could lose my thread when I lost concentration and still follow the story as it was familiar.

However, I am not fully over it and I still relapse when particularly worried, anxious or stressed.

I am so sorry for your loss and the pain that you are suffering. I am not in anything near your situation but also am not able to take the enjoyment out of reading that I used to. My reason is due to severe work stress over the last few months and anxiety issues. I also find that I tend to watch the same tv shows/movies again and again rather than something new. Likewise I read the easy holiday books or else Harry Potter that I have read multiple times before. I am trying to get my love of reading back but it is very slow going

Sending you my best wishes

I have always loved to read but having been under a lot of stress recently, I am struggling to focus enough to manage it properly. I decided to try rereading some of my favourite childhood books - Enid Blyton and Jacqueline Wilson mostly. It might sound silly reading books aimed at children, but I have found them easy to read without needing a lot of my attention or focus, and I have enjoyed them. They are just the right sort of reading level for me at the moment. I wonder if something similar might work for you?

I've also begun listening to audio books at night time. I never liked the idea of it before and didn't think I'd be able to pay enough attention to follow the stories, but I've actually found them quite enjoyable so far. I prefer actual reading but this is a better alternative than I'd imagined. (I am a bit embarrassed to admit that besides a few books on anxiety, the audio books I've listened to so far have all been Enid Blyton!)

I'm so sorry for your loss, and yes this is absolutely normal.

When my younger brother died, I was unable to read anything for a long time, and certainly no thrillers.

My grief counselor explained that grief is an injury, which needs time to heal. It takes a long time to go back to how we were before (if we ever do). She explained that's why a lot of books on grief are broken into small paragraphs so that you can read a short amount and absorb it without overwhelming your mind.

The emotional toll of losing someone we love, is so immense that our brains struggle to retain anything but the smallest snippets for a long time.

It took about 18 months before I could even read a book again, and even then it was a light fluffy novel. Hard going thriller reads with twists and turns were out for a number of years.

You're all so kind.

I was beginning to think I was a bit odd, but the idea that this is an injury that hasn't healed makes a lot of sense.

I have never tried audiobooks but with all this time on my hands I have no excuse not to try and set myself up with one and give it a go. I will.

I miss reading so much. I absolutely loved Enid blyton as a child and would give them a go, but I can't go back to my childhood memories at the moment.

I will however look for short familiar things to read.

You are such a lovely lot x

I'm so sorry you lost your dad and your sibling. Do you ever listen to the podcasts on iPlayer? There are tons of interesting things on there. I listen to Fortunately (with Jane Garvey from Woman's Hour) and also to Louis Theroux, who's been interviewing people throughout lockdown.

I'm sorry for your loss.
After my son died, my concentration, interest and short term memory all vanished.
It was only later in psychotherapy that the psychologist explained that these are common responses to trauma.
My memory and concentration are still not the best, but that interest and desire to read has returned.
A huge relief, as I've been a voracious reader all my life and reading into the night has always been my most reliable sleep aide.
So try not to stress about it. Your love of reading will return.

I’ve had the same experience, for the same reason in the last year. I also think it’s one of the side-effects of the pandemic too- the constant low- level anxiety resulting in a loss of concentration. I second the advice to reread something that you’ve really enjoyed in the past - it can be very comforting, like wearing comfy socks. Depression is a very normal and natural response to grief and two of the symptoms are loss of concentration and failing to take pleasure in things which usually you enjoy. It’ll come back when you start to heal.

You can sign up and get free audiobooks from your library- or audible is excellent.
Would something like no. 1 ladies detective agency be suitable?
The calm or headspace apps have stories on them as well.

So sorry for your losses. I've lost both parents and really struggle to read or anything beyond work Often except telly. I'm going to give audio books a chance to see if they can help me - hopefully you can identify something to help you too from support on this board - good luck 🥰

Give yourself time. Grief is so physically knackering, as well as mentally exhausting. You need to let your body and mind do what they need to do, and your job during this is to love yourself. Do what helps. Eat as well as you can, get out in nature if you can. Be kind to yourself. Let time carry you along for a while, watch the season change.
In a period of my life where I grieved profoundly I couldn’t see in colour properly, couldn’t taste food, and I ached for months and months. I couldn’t listen to music or read. I think my body and brain had so much to deal with any stimulus from outside that wasn’t absolutely necessary was too much. Over a couple of years things came back. Sometimes I loose something for a while again, in waves. But now I’m mostly ok, and feel strong in myself. Reading is still a struggle for some reason, but I manage sometimes. Music is a joy again, and the world has its colour back. You will be fine, you are fine, it just really hurts and it takes time.

@Sevensilverrings

Give yourself time. Grief is so physically knackering, as well as mentally exhausting. You need to let your body and mind do what they need to do, and your job during this is to love yourself. Do what helps. Eat as well as you can, get out in nature if you can. Be kind to yourself. Let time carry you along for a while, watch the season change. In a period of my life where I grieved profoundly I couldn’t see in colour properly, couldn’t taste food, and I ached for months and months. I couldn’t listen to music or read. I think my body and brain had so much to deal with any stimulus from outside that wasn’t absolutely necessary was too much. Over a couple of years things came back. Sometimes I loose something for a while again, in waves. But now I’m mostly ok, and feel strong in myself. Reading is still a struggle for some reason, but I manage sometimes. Music is a joy again, and the world has its colour back. You will be fine, you are fine, it just really hurts and it takes time.

Thank you. Your words describe how I feel so perfectly.

I'm so pleased to hear you have in some ways come to terms with your loss, and can find some joy in life again.

Yes I struggle to read proper books any more. I couldn't do anything at the beginning though, I can enjoy podcasts now - so things are improving. I'm ok with work related reading, where I've got to make notes and stuff. I hope it'll come back. Someone said about the world losing its colour - that's exactly it.

So very sorry your losses, Darelask. I teach English and have to read, and attentively, for a living. All this was fine after my DH died more than four and a half years ago. What withered was reading for myself. My book club became just more homework. I watched and re-watched "Deadpool" in the months after he died, and last year it was "Game of Thrones". I find music unbearably moving and avoid it still as it reminds me of him, though I still went to the festivals we loved.

As others have suggested, audio books are very good and the re-reading of old favourites.

Now I think of it, I associate the "S-Town" podcast with cooking for myself (I was always perfectly OK as a cook, but DH did all of it). I can remember the particular recipes I followed at that time.

I hope you find yourself again as a reader .