I've just lost my granda. I feel totally lost. He was such a great man, a strong man. I'm so grateful that he was such a huge part of my life and that of my children's. I miss him so much. We just couldn't save him. We all tried our best and rushed like hell to get to him but I just wish I could have got to him sooner and not listened to his sayings that he'll be ok. I just wish so much had been different. I think if covid hadn't been here then he might not have been afraid of going in hospital. What a bastard this horrible this pandemic is! I just can't believe he's gone. We all miss his twice weekly video phonecalls. Honestly I feel in so much pain. I just wish I had got there sooner, not saying the outcome would have been better but I just wish I got there earlier x