My mum died last month as a result of covid 😢.
She was in her 70s and divorced from my dad after years of domestic abuse approx 25 years ago. He’s a fairly controlling man and our relationship has been fractured because of it.
Yesterday he sent a message to a family what’s app group asking where her engagement ring from him was. He became enraged when we said we didn’t know and has sent two messages talking about what a horrible person she was, how she ruined his life and made comments about something we had mentioned at her funeral as a fond memory but he talked about it bitterly and angrily. He told us she was shit and made his life shit.
For reference, we all grew up exposed to the domestic abuse he subjected her to, both physical
and mental. My first memories of being a child are of trying the lay on her to protect her from the beatings. His emotional abuse has continued on and off to us as his daughters and I went NC with him for years and will be doing so again now.
Like a typical narcissist he is blaming me for being ‘too emotional’ after mum’s death for his comments rather than blaming himself.
But how do I work through this and get over the devastation not just of her death but the thoughts of him being so mean and abusive even after she’s dead?! I couldn’t sleep last night as I was so upset.