what do i say to my next door neighbour

[starshaker]

my neighbours husband died today totally out of the blue. he was in his late 40's and they dont know how he died yet. i really dont know what to say to his wife

Go and see her. You don't really have to say anything. Just be there for her.

I second that

I would make her a casserole or something and call round with it and just say I'm here if you need me.

Knock the door and say 'What can I do?'

It is startling how many people avoid you when you experience a sudden bereavement.

Poor lady ..

her daughter came in looking for a cig and she told me. she was easy to talk to about it cos she started telling me. her mum is in a mess but there are loads of family in. just saw him being taken away

Def just go around, put your arms out to her and ask her what you can do for her.

Yes, just go and see her. Help with kids if there are any.

Any news, starshaker?

oh no how sad

Happened to a neighbour of ours nearly a year ago.

Just offer help or comfort as much as you can. Not a lot else you can do really.

her dd came back in cos she cant stand people crying and her house is full. made her tea and just let her talk. she says her mum is shaking uncontrolably and she doesnt know what to do. they are doing a postmortom but (F) is talking about arrangements and her dd is getting upset by this btw her dd is 21

Well, you're doing all you can, star.

You've provided a safe haven, a cup of tea and a willing ear.

There's no etiquette in these situations. People will come to you if you want them to, as this evening has proven.

With regards to your adult neighbour, start off with practicalities. Offer your services. If she wants to cry on your shoulder, let it be at her instigation.

I wish you strength over the next few weeks