Heads spinning when dose it stop

[mrsozzy84]

Im realy struggling right now to say ive had 4 years of hell would be a understatment. I lost my grandfather in april 2018 exactly 6months after he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I helped care for him for those 6month evan gave up work so i could be there more. I was stopped for having a input into his funeral evan though all the other grand children had their say, i kept quiet because i respect my grandparents ( it was a ex family member who stoped me). After my grandfather passed my nan strugled without him her health went down hill so once againg i steped up nd became her carer but in feb 2019 after being told to use the weekend to get house ready (her bed needed to be moved down stairs) for her to come out of hospital after a short illness my nan passed way only 10months after her husband. After my nan passed my own helth whent down hill rapidly. Then in June 2020 right in middle of pandemic and the first lockdown my auntie passed away in a care home unable to see any of us. I thort 3 years of hell would be over as they say it comes in threes but i guess that dont apply to me as these nightmare aint over as yesterday my uncle passed away after being in hospital for nealy 3month with organ failure he was not only my uncle but my best friend big brother body gard and morst importantly like a second dad to me all roled into one. I just dont now how much more i can take or do rite now. My other half is trying so hard to help keep me bizzy so im not thinking 4 to long as it afects my anxiety and depression if i think 4 to long but some of thing he wants me to do ie sort though my uncle things i fell is abit insensitive and time rong right now it only been a day and i dont evan now wat to think let alown prosses the larst 24 hours.am i rong for tell him to back off nd slow it down for now as Im struggling to see a end to all this heart break. Tia

Ps sorry for long post

I'm sorry for your loss @mrsozzy84

My brother died unexpectedly on Friday. It's been a horrendous few days. Yesterday (Sunday) morning was my lowest point so far. In the end I rang a mental health helpline as I got really stuck in a state of distress and couldn't calm down. They were really good, I'd recommend it if you feel it may help. It was a local NHS service I rang but you can also call the Samaritans and other places.

Everyone copes differently, try to get through the minutes right now. Do whatever you think will help. If you want to go and sort through his things that's OK, but there is also no rush. Maybe don't throw anything away yet if you do go, just make a start on organising etc.

I'm expecting to have a crash soon, I gather that's how grief works, lots of lows. Make sure you drink some sugary drinks if you can't eat anything and if you're on medication for your anxiety and depression keep taking that. Try going for a little walk, or putting a film on in the background and try to watch five minutes of it at a time to give your brain a chance to do something else for short periods.

Sorry if this is patronising and unhelpful. This is the first time I've lost someone very close to me and I was in such a state of despair yesterday. These are the kinds of things I was doing to get through the day.

Your dp is probably not sure how to help but means well. Tell him gently that you appreciate his kindness but atm you just need to go with how you feel from hour to hour.
So sorry for all your losses.