Still feeling awful

[Fieldofyellowflowers]

My friend has been in hospital for two weeks with Covid. I messaged her sister a couple of days ago to ask how friend was and didn't get a response. Later on, a mutual friend of ours phoned me to explain that friend had died but not many people had been told yet, hence why I didn't know. Presumably her sister asked her to break the news.

Needless to say I'm devastated, and guilty because I sent that stupid message to her grieving sister asking how she was.

It wasn't a stupid message, it was a friendly concerned message. You were thinking of her.

Don't beat yourself up.

My condolences on your loss.

You've nothing to be embarrassed about. The family had obviously been slow in letting everyone know, which was hardly your fault.

My goodness, that wasn't a stupid message. It showed her that her sister had friends who loved her & were concerned about her. I'm very sorry for your loss, OP.

@ScribblingPixie

My goodness, that wasn't a stupid message. It showed her that her sister had friends who loved her & were concerned about her. I'm very sorry for your loss, OP.

Exactly this, no doubt the family will take comfort that their sister was loved by her friends. Sorry got your loss

Thanks everyone.

I just feel guilty at the thought of her sister sitting at home mourning and then reading a message asking how her dead sister is.

I’m sorry for your loss.

My mum died due to covid pneumonia on Christmas Day. I’ve had several messages from friends since asking how she is and expressing how they hope she is recovering now.
None of them have offended me at all, it’s shown they are thinking of us and care.

I'm very sorry to hear about your friend 💐

If you hadn't been told, it's not insensitive to have sent a message asking how she is. I'm sure her sister will appreciate that her sisters had friends who cared about her.

@wlv12. I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum xx

@wlv12

So sorry about your mum

Hi just wanted to say don't worry about the text at all. I got similar texts from people about my mam asking how she was doing after suffering a bleed on her brain but she didn't make it. I didn't think any ill thoughts of those people just knew they were concerned. I just contacted them back when I got a chance later on. So don't beat yourself up.

You did not make the pain worse, trust me. Her sister would have been touched by your message of concern for your friend. When my wife died I found messages from her friends asking how she was, some of them right up to or just after her hour of passing. How poignant it was to know that right at that moment they were thinking of her, connected to her. Put away your guilt. I'm so sorry you have lost your friend.