Sending love and support to anyone missing a loved one this Christmas

[endofthelinefinally]

This is my 5th Christmas without my precious child.
I want to send thoughts to everyone on MN who has lost a child, parent, a partner, a sibling. Especially those for whom this will be the first Christmas without them.
It is a hard time of year, worse this year because of this awful pandemic that has isolated so many from their friends and families.

When I light my son's candle this year, I will be thinking of all the bereaved mumsnetters who have given so much love and support to me and others over the years, and to those who are new to this club that nobody wants to join.

What a lovely post.

I will be having my first Christmas without my darling dad this year and, having just gone into tier 4, I won’t be able to be with my family. I came to this topic as sometimes the sadness of not seeing dad again is so overwhelming it’s a comfort to know I’m not the only one going through it. Your lovely post made me smile. It’s nice to be thought of.

When I raise a glass for my dad on Christmas Day I will also think of your son. What an overwhelming sadness for you to bear. I’m so sorry for your loss.

Xxx

How lovely that you are thinking of others at this time. My Mum passed away in April,five months to the day after being diagnosed with cancer. We buried her ashes today and I just feel so empty and utterly exhausted tonight. Much love to everyone facing Christmas without their loved ones xx

What a kind and thoughtful thread, OP.

DP and I spent 7 of the 10 Christmases we had together home alone, just the two of us. We could eat what we liked, when we liked, and drink as much (or as little) as we liked. We could stay in our pyjamas all day without offending anyone and usually went to bed early, full of food and a bit tipsy.

I'm spending this Christmas with my bubble - my lovely SIL, BIL, MIL and my much-loved DNiece. It will be so strange, and sad, being somewhere else and not with him. But it's a strange Christmas for everyone this year, which I think will make it a little easier to bear.

and for all those who will be missing someone special this year.

This is my first Christmas without my lovely old DF who died in April in his care home so without my DM or his 3 daughters. I don't believe that I have really started grieving yet.

My love and thoughts to everyone grieving or remembering a lost one this Christmas xx

What a kind thread and so very thoughtful. We are mourning the recent loss of DHs darling father who passed away 2 weeks ago. We have his funeral on Xmas eve and due to tier 4 we now can’t stay overnight so are driving 500 miles round trip on Xmas eve to attend the funeral. Covid has caused so much complication to an already emotion and stressful situation for the whole family. My sympathies to anyone grieving at this time x

Thank you for starting this thread, endofthelinefinally.

This is my fourth Christmas without my lovely DH, and DD and I will have the Christmas lunch we always had with him, joyfully.

Like you, I treasure the support I had from MNers when he died.

Many to all who have an empty place at the table this Christmas.

Thanks op. And thanks for the support from mn when I lost my mum earlier this year.

I lost my wonderful, kind loving Dad in October 6 weeks after a cancer diagnosis, I still feel numb and overwhelmed and my DH and I have Covid so I can't see my poor DM at Christmas.

I can't really put into words how I feel but sending love and strength to all who are trying to deal with a loss

Thank you for starting this thread OP - it's nice to have a space to remember our loved ones.

This is my second Christmas without my wife. I have my wonderful son, and my new partner, who is unfailingly understanding and kind, so I won't be alone this Christmas. I'm incredibly lucky to have them both in my life. But oh, my darling Rebecca, I miss you more than words can express. You loved Christmas and I loved spending this time of year with you. It will never be the same without you.

to everyone dealing with bereavement at this time of year.

I have found Christmas so hard, unbearably hard, without my DP. There was no-one to share a sly grin with when his DM came out with something spectacularly bonkers (which she does regularly, bless her), I missed his (mostly) helpful presence in the kitchen when we were cooking, I missed his wit and humour.

Now I'm back at home, on my own, without any company to distract me, I feel utterly shit. In fact, I think this is the worst I've felt since the first few days after his death, certainly the worst since the funeral.

And being in Tier 4 really sucks too. I've been for a walk, but even that just made me sad.

It's been 8 weeks since he died, and I really hoped that I would be at last starting to have moments when I felt a bit better by now.

@LakieLady I'm so sorry to hear of your loss; it's such a hard time of year to cope with grief. I think the trouble with being widowed is that it affects every aspect of your life - absolutely nothing's the same any more. It's an incredibly hard thing to adjust to, and to have to deal with this during a pandemic must make it all the more difficult. If you were widowed before your 51st birthday, have you thought of joining Widowed and Young? It's a great organisation that offers a lot of peer support. I've made some good friends through it, and it can make the process less lonely. Sending you hugs xx

Oh LakieLady. 8 weeks is no time at all. I am 4 years on and I still have nightmares. I still teeter on the edge of panic attacks. I am exhausted from having to employ coping strategies all the time.
It is very, very hard, but we just have to keep going.
The one good thing for me this year is that I haven't had to struggle to put a brave face on all the time.
We learn a new way of living.

@LakieLady

I have found Christmas so hard, unbearably hard, without my DP. There was no-one to share a sly grin with when his DM came out with something spectacularly bonkers (which she does regularly, bless her), I missed his (mostly) helpful presence in the kitchen when we were cooking, I missed his wit and humour.

Now I'm back at home, on my own, without any company to distract me, I feel utterly shit. In fact, I think this is the worst I've felt since the first few days after his death, certainly the worst since the funeral.

And being in Tier 4 really sucks too. I've been for a walk, but even that just made me sad.

It's been 8 weeks since he died, and I really hoped that I would be at last starting to have moments when I felt a bit better by now.

I found the days after Boxing Day incredibly hard as well @LakieLady. It was a bit "well, what now?" I'm a little bit better now I'm lucky my girls are with me. I am thinking of you and all who have lost loved one during this awful year 💙