Four years today

[tunnocksreturns2019]

Four years since I lost my best friend, husband, co parent and marital status all in one fell swoop.

DH, you remain missed beyond all measure.

I tread between worlds so I do not have to bear ‘was’ and ‘were’ and ‘would have been’ relentlessly, and always will. Time and death have nothing on love, as all the poets know.

Not a day for his children to be sad: we mark his birthday, not a death 10 days before Christmas. On another sphere he sees his daughter leave for school in a party dress, and he is glad.

No, not glad; gently amused, and full of love. I see your expression exactly, in my mind’s eye - one of the many places that you live.

@tunnocksreturns2019

I am so sorry for your loss .

You write beautifully, by the way.

Oh Tunnocks, I remember

Oh Tunnocks, that is so beautiful.

Oh Tunnocks...indeed you do use beautiful words.

I am so sorry about your husband. I lost mine this March.

4 years.

(((Big HUGS)))

It really doesn't seem like 4 years have passed, but time is strange isn't it?! On one hand it feels like a long time ago, on the other hand it feels like yesterday.

You & the kids and your wonderful DH have not been forgotten, I think of you all often.

I love seeing your posts on various threads & to know you're around (again)

Lots of love x

With love and awe that you’ve coped & managed to craft such poetic words to capture the ache that grief brings. Thinking of you.

Ah bless you all.

Much love to you, Sadbadglad - it isn’t fair.

I have poured myself a glass of port and am running a bath. DS (11) told me earlier that drinking is a ‘nasty habit’ 🤣 - I drink about 3 units a month, so this is quite funny.

That was lovely, I was widowed 13 months ago, I was just lying here thinking of how hard it is being on my own and trying to make Christmas lovely for the dc, the way it was before. Its always a struggle now and he is missed everyday but especially at Christmas as this should be family time and mine isn't complete anymore, this will be our 2nd Christmas without him, I was hoping it would get easier.

sicknote much love to you. For various reasons this is a particularly hard one for me. I know Christmas can’t be as it was before. But you are enough. You shouldn’t have to be, and goodness, this is harder on you than the DC, but you are.

I can never understand marking someone's day of death. I choose to forget when my lovely mum died, it's a date I wish to forget. I remember her on her birthday. I make sure she is in our conversations during the year. We celebrate 'Wednesday Chicken' as this is when she came around to see us. I have lots of pics of her up on the walls and not a day goes by where she's not in my thoughts. I have nothing but good memories of her, she was lovely.

I remember.
When he was poorly, my DH was very ill too.
When your DH died, mine recovered.
I've often thought about you and how well you coped without the love of your life.
I don't think that I could have been as wonderfully brave as you, the way you held it together for your children.
I did ask at the time if you minded me praying for you and your family.
You very graciously said it was ok so I added a decade of the Rosary to my nightly prayers, it maybe, selfishly, helped me but hopefully in some way was helpful to you.
Best wishes to you and your family this Christmas, you really are inspirational.