Not sure how to support DP.

[qazxc]

DMIL died very suddenly this morning in unpleasant circumstances. We won't know exactly what happened until after the postmortem.
DP is in bits and I feel like a spare part. Does anyone have any practical advice?

Just be there for him OP. He may want support, he may not. A lot of people prefer to grieve privately, but others want to talk, to cry, etc. Let him take the lead.

I lost my mum this week
Sudden in the end but after a struggle with cancer so not unexpected.

Things that are helping me:

• DH doing pretty much everything at home so I don't have to think about it
• making me nice food
• not judging me lying about and crying in my PJs
• listening to me when I want to talk about her
• hugs, foot rubs
• understanding that I need to support my surviving parent and family and not resenting that.
• letting me do stuff on my own that helps me cope eg walk, gym, massage

It is quite individual though
My dad does not want to talk although he likes to hear others reminiscing about her and sharing photos
He is enjoying doing little useful distracting tasks so he doesn't dwell on it.

Thanks, a couple of his mates have called round and he it seems to have perked him up.
He's the kind to bottle things up and worry about looking after others before himself, which worries me slightly. There are also other stressors ( work worries, anniversary of his father's death,....) which complicate things.
I think we are all in shock and don't know what to do.