First anniversary

[Luckingfovely]

I'm really new to talking about this. Very difficult family history with two alcoholic parents including an abusive father.

Have lost both in the last two years.

Right now, I'm between my mother's birthday and the first anniversary of her passing.

And I'm falling apart.

I thought for a long time, after my father went, that I was grieving for the parents/ childhood I never had.

But now, I just really, really miss my mother, and I'm struggling to function.

I'm not sure if it's delayed grief, or something else.

I'm not even sure why I'm posting, or what I'm looking for, but needed to do it.

I'm so sorry op, thats rough. Everything you feel is normal. My dad drank. It took me 20 years to process his death, Lost my mum 3 months ago. I feel like a different person, I don't know who she is yet.

Oh @Cheesypea yes totally get that - I'm not the same, but I don't know who I am any more. I don't even know how to begin to process any of it.

Thank you for responding and sending a hug!

Luckingfovely ..it must be so difficult losing both parents with out resolving issues with them whilst they were alive. How are you going to mark the passing of your Mum and her birthday? It will probably help with the healing process to do something..light a candle, raise a glass etc.Have you considered bereaved,ent counselling as I am sure you would benefit x