Selling family home

[opinionatedfreak]

My mother died a long time ago. My father two months ago.

My siblings and I are preparing to put our family home on the market.

I’m so sad & tearful about it and am driving the others mad by inventing reasons to delay.

Have other people felt like this? I’m assuming it passes.

I’m also worried that I’m going to make daft decisions in the aftermath & rush out to buy a flat in the same location so I still have a “base” there.

This would be impractical as it is 5hrs from my primary residence & my working hours are such that I’m quite limited about what transport I can use on a Friday after work so I’d be lucky to get up every 6 weeks.

I know that I’d be better investing the money and using the equivalent of council tax/ bills for a second property on renting somewhere really nice when I need it but I feel like I really need somewhere that is mine in that location.

Hi I haven’t had to deal with that yet but am dreading it as it has all our family memories in. My only advice is don’t rush any financial decisions once it is sold, give yourself time to grieve and get yr head straight. When I was widowed I wanted to sell up and move and someone said to me don’t make that decision for a year as yr head is in another place at the moment. They were right I never did sell up. Take care x

This is part of grieving. you are grieving for the home as well as for your parents. If you can, get some photos of the house looking the way you remember it - it is nice to have memories of a special place.

have you seen a counselor or therapist who can help you with this? Don't make things difficult for your siblings or rush to buy a different house.

Hi,

It's very very hard, as in a way you are grieving your childhood as well as your parents, especially if you grew up in the house.

When my mum died I wanted to hold off selling the house too but my siblings pushed ahead. By the time it sold though a year had past. I live quite close and used to drop in for a cup of tea and sit in the garden, so got to say my goodbyes. I briefly thought about buying it but my kids would have had to move schools etc so I didn't. In a way that was me just wanting to stay in the past a bit. Now I drive by the end of the road and think of the new family there. So I suppose I am saying it does get easier and you will let go.

I left the money in the bank for over a year before deciding what to do. In the end we renovated our house, which has been a huge benefit to our children and family and I thank my parents for that.