How to help my teenager

[maggiethecat]

Dd, 17 just received news that a friend of hers tragically died. She was not very close to him but knew him well enough and liked him a lot. She fell to the floor when she heard and was inconsolable. He was young and talented and she said she cannot understand how he is even not here anymore.
She woke up early this morning and started cleaning her room and then the kitchen and the extent of this is all very unusual. I suppose she is keeping herself busy. She doesn't want to engage much with me and I wonder how best to help her? Do I just leave her alone?

Hello,
As a teacher I’ve just done a wonderful course with child bereavement UK. They have some excellent free resources online x

I'll have a look at that Lacey, thanks

It’s very hard. I would think sixth form/colleges will have provision for such loss and trauma in sept - I know we have had to plan for it x

If you can’t find the resources, please let me know

I just looked at the video clip for teens and that was helpful. I also ordered a book "All in the end is harvest". I don't want to push too much but want to help if I can.
Thanks for your help

Aww that's sad, RIP young man

Were they friends through sixth form/college? Maybe approach them for some advice?

Winstons wish is a charity that helps children cope with death

Frustration - thanks; through music and mutual friend.
Nits - will have a look at Winstons, thanks

It’s really tough, my DS’ were devastated when a good friend of theirs died. The funeral was very difficult for them to cope with too. School did their best to help & support but it was an awful time. It’s still very early days, your DD is still in shock, keep an eye on her, your GP will be able to signpost services.

I just wanted to say well done for taking your DDs bereavement seriously. The fact that you're taking the time to find out all this info is amazing, you sound like a wonderful mum.

I had a friend die when I was a teenager and my mother was awful about it and basically said it was my friend fault and I shouldn't feel sad about it. I of course was distraught and could probably have done with support from my parents.

I'm so sorry to hear about her friend. Any passing is deeply sad but a young person dying is just tragic.

As someone who lost several friends whilst in my teens, one of whom was my boyfriend, I would say just be there for her with hugs and whatever else you can think of. Normality around her will help her feel safe enough to grieve which is such an overwhelming feeling.

Are there other friends she can be with to talk about her friend and remember him? This may help her to process it.