Several family members dying in two months - grief/coping

[PinotGrigoCat]

Hi, name change, long time lurker and occasional poster. In the past eight weeks I have lost four people in my immediate family, none COVID related. Am veering from being numb to being a crying mess to telling myself there are people worse off than me and to 'get on with it.'
DH is supportive, kids are aware and being supported by us and school, having open conversations about death etc.
Work has given me a week off for compassionate leave, but advised me to go to GP. Also had a week off when my brother died - I was a real mess. Imagine GP may sign me off and up medication (currently on sertraline due to finding someone start of last year who had died by suicide - had six weeks signed off due to anxiety and shock), had counselling last year but don't feel need it currently. What do you think GP would do?
Am worried if I get signed off what impact that would have on longer term job prospects, waiting to hear about Civil Service application, and that I will be viewed as unreliable or not able to cope. But would it help to have time off? Or is it better to power through? I'm so confused.
Feel my friends have compassion fatigue so not told them about most recent death. My parents are going through enough themselves, and live an hour away, so don't want to burden them with my feelings.
So WWYD? I know everybody is having a tough time at the moment and feel very selfish to feel the way I do. My head is all over the place and can't think straight. Have any of you lost several loved ones close together? Any advice/support would be most appreciated. TIA

Bump... anyone?

I lost 5 members of my close family including my father in 18 months. There is no right way to be, I would just do what is right for you, I just tried to carry on as usual for my DH and DC it take sinking to be able to function without thinking of them constantly. I really should have taken more time for myself so do that if you can. I'm sorry for your loss.

Sympathy in bucket loads.

You need counselling. This will take time. I found I was in a different place for several years, albeit functioning. Unless you're clinically depressed, I don't know that jumping into ADs are a great solution and they carry risk. I would think carefully and try time, talking therapy and exercise in the first instance unless you are experiencing genuine clinical depression. If you need time off, you need time off.

Sorry, you're already taking medication.

I don't know that anything speeds up the deep shock of multiple bereavements. It's deeply disorientating.

to anyone on here who has lost quite a number of people in short space of tine - i wish you all health & happiness

op - don't beat your self up you are not being selfish . you need to talk vent cry its ok

one breath one moment one step & one day at a time 🙏

if you want i can pm you a counsellors number shes brilliant ?

Thank you everyone. I took the kids for a long walk today, it was helpful, but getting home I felt the cloud of grief again. Sorry you've been through losses too

Thank you @hustler2020 that would be great

i think i just pm ( not very tech savy lol) number any problems let me know x

Thank you @hustler2020!

Do you think it would be a good idea to take some time off? Will try and sort out counselling.

you have to do what you feel you can cope with whether work will distract you or whether you just want to be alone with your thoughts/ feelings

whatever you do you’ve been through major trauma dont underestimate that so try sort out trying speak to someone ( even if that feels overwhelming right now) it really will help you

you are not alone

I think some time off and loads of walks. Spending time in nature can really help with healing and sorting through feelings. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. 💐

I think powering through this will just be kicking the emotional can down the road.

Grief counselling might be helpful, it sounds as though you have definitely had a lot to cope with.

I think it depends how ill you are. Work can be a distraction, if you're not in too bad a place. Discuss with a professional.

I lost three friends in 3 months . One I found dead on the floor . Not sure I've dealt with any of it yet.

Agree I definitely need to try and heal, being outside today helped. Think I would rather work through it now than it come back to bite me later on. I'm still in shock to some extent and nothing feels real, trying to avoid thinking if that makes sense. Being on auto pilot I suppose as early days and everything v raw. Just feel like I could be judged, and I hate that, for taking time off work. Struggling to unpick the different grief for each person I've lost, at the moment it's like a big lump. Not sure that makes sense?! Thanks again

@catsareme14 so sorry to hear that. I had trauma counselling when I found the person who had killed himself. Was really scary but healing at the same time. Life is just not fair 💐

We lost 3 out of our four parents all suddenly within a few years and had to deal with the suicides of two friends. It is hard especially as they have all been within such a short space of time. I just tried to get through it at the time but it hit me later down the line and I ended up on anti-depressants last year. I would take some time off, have some counselling when you feel ready.

I think if work are telling you to see GP, they realise this is not something you are going to get over in a week, it's going to take a lot longer than that and your GP can sign you off. I'm sorry for all your losses.

Thanks for all of the support x

I have spoken to my parents who have said speak to GP, and to be more kind to myself. Planning on ringing doctor tomorrow first thing (won't get through now) - how do I explain without bursting into tears? Do I ask to be signed off work or do they offer?

Hi - just wanted to say thanks and update. Doctor has signed me off for four weeks and my work is being supportive. I'm not sleeping much but getting by. Hopefully time will make things easier. Thanks again xx