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Bereavement

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What things have you found helpful in dealing with bereavement?

7 replies

lostandsad1 · 27/07/2020 20:59

I was reading one of the threads here and a couple of people referred to memory bears, which I'd never heard of before, so I googled, and they seemed like a really nice way to remember a loved one. I lost my mother very recently and my dad a couple of years ago and I wanted to hold on to some clothing have something tangible to touch, see or hold, so this seems like a really nice way to turn these into a comforting object to remind you of a loved one, that you can actually hug. If you've ordered/made one of these and found it helped, please write about how you did it and found it below.

For me, personally, the thing I've found that has brought me the most comfort is poetry - not reading it so much as writing it. When I've had those waking up in the middle of the night can't get back to sleep moments, I've found writing down my feelings in an almost stream of consciousness way has really helped me process some of what I'm feeling. No idea if it's any good as poetry, but it helps me to express some of the grief, and turn it into a little memorial to my mum on paper.

Are there any other things you've done that you feel has helped you deal with your grief? Any ways that you've been able to memorialise your loved one or keep their memory alive in some ways? Anything others have done that have really helped you?

All suggestions welcome - thank you Flowers

OP posts:
SpeedofaSloth · 27/07/2020 21:01

blackwells.co.uk/bookshop/product/All-in-the-End-Is-Harvest-by-Agnes-Whitaker-CRUSE/9780232516241

I was given this book I found it helpful.

FluffyFluffyClouds · 28/07/2020 17:58

I knew about memory bears because I'd had some of my old t-shirts made into a quilt a while back, and if you're looking for people who make tshirt quilts - well, the same bunch of people tend to make items out of clothes belonging to someone who's passed away. Etsy is a good place to look anyway.

lostandsad1 · 28/07/2020 18:33

Thank you, I'd never heard of this before. It sounds like a really nice idea.

OP posts:
Othering · 28/07/2020 18:45

Drinking and time!

LuckyBitches · 30/07/2020 18:27

I honestly can't think of anything, sadly. Apart from drinking and time as othering said! If I find myself similarly grieving in the future, I will perhaps be more open to letting it happen, and I will have the acceptance that it doesn't really go away. I now know my own strength better, which will help (I hope)

Theterrible42s · 11/08/2020 21:01

When I knew my dad was definitely dying, back in early spring, I started gardening like a maniac. I always grow a fair bit of our food anyway but this year I really there myself into it, every time I started to feel overwhelmed I went out and dug and dug until I found a bit of calm. It felt like I was doing something positive and life affirming, for our future, and it helped get me through the worst times. Now we're harvesting and I think of him every meal we eat. He died in April and tomorrow would have been his birthday.

Wildwood6 · 14/08/2020 11:30

Time helped enormously, and being very gentle on myself. Also not drinking too much (it seemed to help at the time but I'd end up a mess of tears by the end of the night), gentle exercise, and getting out and about (day trips to the beach, etc) to give myself both new experiences and distractions helped. I found the book 'The Year of Magical Thinking' helpful too.

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