Grief counselling- helpful or not?

[Jesusweptagain]

Hi - I recently lost my lovely mum very suddenly & unexpectedly. I am able to access grief counselling through my workplace and wondered if anyone had experience of this - how was it? For the most part I've been doing okay but now I think people expect me to just be fine. I have held it together in public/at work etc but there are of course moments where I cry unexpectedly. I am worried about bottling up my feelings and have nobody I can let them out to.

Hi. Sorry about your Mum. Big hugs. I had bereavement counselling for a few weeks after losing my dad. I was 27 at the time, he was only 54, none of my friends had lost a parent. Mum was lost in her own grief and my brother was doing his own thing. So I didn’t feel I had anyone to just offload my feelings on. I was also sleeping badly and having dreams about my dad. I wasn’t coping at work well (teaching teenagers! Not the best environment when you’re grieving). So when my doctor suggested it I though what have I got to lose?!

I really liked it. It was just a safe space to talk and talk. I felt I could cope better with my mum pouring all her grief into me, because I didn’t feel I needed to talk about my own feelings as much. I would cry, get it out of my system. Sleep got better. Coping got easier. I would really recommend it.

thanks for your reply I think that sounds like exactly what I need - to tell a stranger all my feelings & deal with them. I will contact them tomorrow. Thanks so much for replying.

Do it, you won’t regret it. One of the best things I ever did.

Hi, I'm very sorry for the loss of your mum. I haven't lost a parent, but I did lose my baby in pregnancy last year as she was very unwell. I've been having grief counselling for about 4 months now, also through my workplace. I've found it so helpful, even now when I think I'm ok, exploring feelings with my counsellor makes me realise there's a way to go still. I really didn't think it would help, but It's really helped me to look at things in a different perspective. I hope yours is just as useful x

So sorry to hear about your mum op

I had therapy for a few different issues to do with my parents, including the death of one of them. As another poster mentioned, having a professional to talk to and unravel feelings and emotions is great. I found it really helped, and feel much further on in my grief than if I’d tried to wade through it alone.

So sorry about your Mum.

I had counselling quite soon after my Mums death (and had various other counselling in the years that followed) but it wasn’t until my last lot 5 years later that I felt I was ready and it made a difference.

Take work up on their offer but if it is limited to a set amount of sessions please utilise Cruise. They specialise in bereavement counselling and can offer 1 on 1, phone or group sessions.

Grief is something that takes time to process and you never get over it, you just - unfortunately - learn to live with it.

So sorry for everyone who has lost someone precious. I can't imagine your pain @1stbabs so sorry about your baby girl. I only lost my mum last month so it is a worry of mine that maybe it's too soon - @Griefishorrible do you feel it's better to wait? Basically I just don't want to feel anything, I want to 'get over it' which sounds awful I know but my mum would be telling me the same & when I die I want it to be as easy as possible and forgotten by my family ASAP! X

Hi. I'm so sorry to hear about your sudden loss.

I lost my father very suddenly and unexpectedly and I was 'the strong one' that ensured mum had a shoulder to cry on. I was in the middle of intensive training for a new career and so I thought taking time out to grieve was not an option.
It took 3.5 years for me to talk to someone and I only did so as I knew I needed to change something - my work and my marriage were being affected.
My family dynamic changed without my dad there and I had 4 sessions (private counsellor through work - I was lucky that I could have had as many sessions as I wanted) and they were SO helpful. I am now a new person and am able to work through my emotions rather than verbally thrashing out at my loved ones. I wish I'd done it sooner but I wasn't ready and I am SO grateful I did it at all.
I always thought I could just deal with it on my own as I've never really shared feelings with anyone, or it would just go away if I ignored it. I now have many coping mechanisms to lead a happy life without guilt, anger or too much sadness. There will always be very sad times but I now approach them differently. I would recommend therapy to anyone that thinks they may want it.

Really good luck with everything. Sending best wishes to you.

I started counselling about 5 months after my parent died. I actually went because my relationship with my other parent had nosedived at the same time and I needed help dealing with that. But everything was all tangled up with everything else so stuff with both parents was dealt with. I had counselling most weeks for about 9 months.

With grief there is no right or wrong time. I say if you have the appetite for it now, then try?