My dad is very old and so it's not been a great surprise that he's in end of life, having had a number of scares over the years. But it's so hard to sit there day after day just waiting for him to die. Clinical staff who've popped round keep saying it will be soon. It's not that I want him to go but I can't bear to see him struggling to breathe and looking uncomfortable day after day, not being able to eat, drink or speak. It's harrowing.
How do people cope? I'm not sleeping well and I feel so bad because I'm finding it so hard.
It doesn't help that we've not had the easiest of relationships, so it's not uncomplicated like people who've had parents that always adored them and who adored their parents back. But I'm still very sad.