Early neonatal death, due date tomorrow

[Greentrees33]

Hi all,

I have birth to my son in February and his due date is tomorrow. He was alive for almost an hour after he was born and my husband and I were in shock but spent that time talking and singing to him. Well I did most of that while my husband mainly sobbed and kissed his head.

His due date is tomorrow and I have been trying to avoid it. All week I have been doing things around the house, to the point that I have become Obsessed over getting them perfect but I know I am really trying to keep my mind running bcos if I stop even for a minute I know I’ll break down. I am deathly scared of being alone with my own mind.

My husband asked me what I wanted to do for our sons due date tomorrow and the truth is, I would love to do something special to commemorate it but I just know what. He was sadly never a boy with an interest in things, so we can’t sit and watch all his favourite movies or make his favourite foods. I expect to sob a lot with my husband light a candle but just don’t know what else we can do to make it special. We will of course be spending some time with our lovely boy. I was thinking of a walk in the park but I think it might be best to stay away from public places as we will probably just end up crying.

For those of you who have been through this, I’m sorry if this is triggering. Please can you share what you did on your baby’s due date?

Anyone?

I'm so very sorry to hear of the loss of your darling boy @Greentrees33.

I lost my son at 22 weeks last year. For his due date we went to visit his grave and plant some flowers, and I also called SANDS and spoke to a wonderful, compassionate lady there when the pain of his loss felt overwhelming. I dont know if you have a memory box from your son's arrival? We went through ours on the due date and looked at my scan pictures and looked at our boy's teddy and his hand and footprints - remembering the joy that he brought us during the short time that he was with us really did help.

I know the pain is indescribable and there is nothing anyone can say to make it better, but please know I will be thinking of you, your DH and your DS tomorrow and sending you love

I'm so sorry for the loss of your son. We lost our daughter neonatally but I was overdue. For her first birthday we just went for a walk in the woods and had cupcakes to mark it. It's such a personal thing to decide what to do. Have you been on the sands forum? If you posted there lots of people would be able to give you ideas.

We went through his memory box from the hospital and bought a new candle to light in his honour and a bunch of flowers which I never treat myself to. My husband also started a fundraiser for SANDS a few weeks before (for his birthday) which we closed on the due date. So sorry for your loss x

I'm sorry OP. I lost a baby at 40 weeks. The due date wasn't significant for us as the baby died around that time but the anniversary of the death and birthday is tough.

For us just being together helped and marking those dates in some small way.

Sands was a big help as PP has said. I go to meetings and use the forum.

Please tell us about your son if you would like to OP.