My Dad died suddenly last summer at a relatively young age. It was really difficult for various reasons, namely complicated family dynamics. I was executrix of his estate. I hold a lot of guilt because he died alone and was not found for a week. He couldn't be buried in his suit & we had to have a closed casket so none of his children had a chance to properly say their goodbyes. I felt responsible for everything funeral and estate related and I found out I was pregnant with my first child the same week I found out he died. With that and everything else on my plate being the executrix I think I struggled to grieve properly, I was trying to be the "perfect daughter" by managing my father's affairs perfectly. It all backfired as my stepbrother was not happy with anything I did anyway and I think he resents me for him not being able to say goodbye (I had to make the final decision re: closed coffin).
Anyway it's nearly the anniversary of his death and I'm getting so triggered by the dates coming up on my phone and also all the Father's Day ads. Does anyone have any advice?