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2 years since my friend died (suicide)

2 replies

eggandtoasty · 17/05/2020 17:36

Hello,

I think I just need to write this down because I haven't processed it properly/don't feel like my grief is 'valid'.

It's coming up to 2 years since my friend died and I'm really struggling with it, it was just so tragic.

He was my first 'boyfriend' (I said 'boyfriend' because we were 14/15 and it was very juvenile) and we knew each other over a period of 8 years or so. We lost touch and hadn't spoken for years afterwards, this is why it seems so silly that it has affected me so much.

I found out via Facebook that he took his life and it crushed me. He was 23 and even in school he was one of those who didn't give a shit about school, smoking, drugs etc. He lived with his friend in a caravan in the garden because his parents weren't around. But he was popular, thoughtful and so, so passionate about music. It was all he did. At 14 I thought he was so bloody cool Grin

He had a lot of mental health issues when we were teenagers and I just feel so, so guilty and so sad that it ended that way. He shouldn't have been alone and he should have never have had to feel that way, bad enough to kill himself.

But then again I feel like I shouldn't be so affected because we hadn't spoken for years before all of it. I just feel so sad for him and wanted him to know that I still think he's great.

Sorry for the ramble, I'm just so torn up.

OP posts:
eggandtoasty · 17/05/2020 17:38

Sorry my timeline is a bit messed up, I knew him from aged 12, we 'dated' aged 14 and we fell out of contact about aged 20

OP posts:
mortforya · 17/05/2020 17:50

It's normal to feel as u do. My ex of 15 years, we dated for about 2 years, took his own life 5 months ago. I got an awful shock and I suppose it led me to thinking of the times when it was just me and him and the deep conversations we used to have, he also took drugs and I wish he could have got help and wondered if we stayed together could I hav helped him but we couldn't stay together, I couldnt put up with his lifestyle. But, like u I was heartbroken and couldn't tell anyone as am married now with 5 children, it doesn't seem justified. But, op, any person that u once had a deep connection with in life, who dies this way, is going to provoke a response in u and that's completely normal x

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