Is this normal after a loss?

[MrBrightside1980]

Hi all.
My father passed away just a week ago. He had cancer but treatment was keeping him going. He unfortunately contracted COVID-19 and ultimately passed away.
Due to the lock down and living so far away i was unable to be there with him when he passed, and I've been struggling with that but trying to deal with it.
What i have found is that since my father passed, I've started to question things in my life. Especially relationships.
I'm looking at relationships i share with people and seriously considering what is actually important and who i actually want to spend my time and effort on.
Is this normal?
It feels like it is to me, but i'm not sure if its something i'm doing to try and deal with the loss of my dad?

I think it is perfectly normal to question like you have said OP. When you lose someone close to you it destroys your balance and security.
However I would advise that you don't make any decisions at the moment. It takes a long time to process grief and to go through all the questions that appear in your head.
I am so sorry to hear of your DF's passing.
Take care of yourself. X

Mr Brightside, I am the same 5 weeks on from my dad dying. I am angry at a lot of people at the moment, probably is just my grief coming out.

Absolutely normal, since losing both my parents within 18 months of each other. I have found out who my real friends are and what I want in life. Life is short and can be cruel, I won’t waste time on people anymore and I am more selfish.

@Jazzmin & @Glitterb
That's exactly how i'm feeling. To be fair, the majority of people i know have been respectful of the loss and given me the space i've asked for to deal with it. There have been a small few that try and impose themselves on the situation and its almost like they are making it about them. I'm just finding that these small few are making me question who i actually want in my life. I suppose in a slightly selfish way, asking what they actually bring to my life. Is it worth having them in my life or am i just going through the motions of allowing them to be part of my life for the sake of it.
Suppose i am angry over certain situations and the frustrations that come with that. I have a particular way of dealing with things that usually means i shut off from things and people, deal with things in an internal manner and once i've done that i am ready to move on. I know its not the way everyone deals with things but that's what works for me. I guess im just not appreciating people imposing their ways and means on my life and not respecting how i've decided is best for me.
Thanks for your replies.

Absolutely, and it's normal for a death to bring nutty behaviour out in some people, so it's useful to have some stock phrase to deal with that or brush it off.. "indeed!" etc...

Absolutely normal OP. I'm so sorry for your loss

Sorry for your loss OP. Be excessively gentle with yourself.

So sorry for your loss, MrBrightside1980

I cannot recommend this book too highly:

www.dymocks.com.au/book/coping-with-grief-5th-edition-by-dianne-mckissock-and-mal-mckissock-9780733339578

It's a slim volume for both the bereaved and their supporters. It was given to me by the organ donation people after the sudden death of my DH.

It offers information and advice for the bereaved and their supporters. It is stringent in the lines it draws between what is reasonable in grief and what requires some outside help, though that is longer term than your situation,

With the greatest of respect it is very soon after the death of your father, and your feelings are naturally running high. This book offers a valuable perspective on the wisdom of cutting people out. It doesn't mean they're right and you're wrong. People can be such a pain, however well-intentioned, as I discovered.

Many

Thanks All, words well received.
@echt thanks for the recommendation, will have a look at it

Hi
I'm in exactly the same situation. My dad passed 5 weeks ago from long term illness.
I'm feeling guilty as I seem ok in myself as just getting on with work and life, but I think in the current pandemic I have realised there is nothing more I can do except live.
I have told people I have considered close and have had varying responses from all and I know I am probably being slightly sensitive so I am letting it kind of pass over me.
I do find myself being angry at the situation and the attention seeking you see on social media.
I'm letting all this pass and then make better informed choices on friends.