Handhold please long night ahead

[Jakadaal]

It looks as though my lovely DF may be succumbing to coronavirus locked tight in his nursing home. We haven't been able to visit for 3 weeks and have had the news today that he is palliative/end of life care. DM and him have been married nearly 70 years and it's heartbreaking watching her try and and adjust to the situation. I have (rightly or wrongly) travelled a short way to stay with her while we wait for news.

I am so sorry

Oh that’s awful. I’m sorry for you and your mum. I don’t blame you for travelling, being with your mum at this time is essential. I don’t have any advice but sending hugs x

I'm so sorry. I would have done the same. Hold tight. X

I’m so very sorry 🌷💕. Such a very difficult way to lose a loved one.

Rightly or wrongly, I’d have gone to my Mum too.

I am so sorry to read this.
I read a comment on another post this evening from a care worker, who said that as much as they possibly can, carers in the home she works spend as much time as they can with their patient if family can’t be there and try to be with them and comfort them at the end. I haven’t put it very well, but it was beautifully written.

That's so sad @Jakadaal
I would have travelled to be with my mum aswell.
Take care of yourself.

Sending very best wishes. You have done no wrong. Thinking of you & your family.

Thanks everyone I feel so guilty for travelling but felt I needed to be here with her. I have been told 1 person can visit in full PPE for about 5 minutes. I'm torn - DF is unresponsive and has dementia so who is to say he will know I am there. There is absolutely no way my DM can visit. DSis and I are thinking of going to his window to see him.

Thinking of you

Oh I'm so sorry. My 90 year old Aunt is in a nursing home, it broke my heart when her Daughter told me that she had been turned away when she went to see her three weeks ago, obviously she hasn't been able to see her at all during this time.
What an absolutely horrible time for you. Love to you xx

I am so so sorry and I am so glad you are there with your Mum Xxx

@Jakadaal have you asked them if you could be put on a phone on loudspeaker maybe read him a story? Even if he was conscious the sight of you in full ppe might be a bit scary especially with masks xxx or maybe go to the window x

I don't blame you for going to your mum's. I'm so sorry you're losing your dad.

Thinking of you and your family.

Thanks everyone for all your best wishes. Against all odds I slept on and off. We are waiting to speak to the home after the handover to day staff.

name I hadn't thought of that I will as the home

Would any of the staff be comfortable using their mobile to video call, eg via WhatsApp?

Thanks everyone. There is little change today but I went to his care home and they opened the window so I could talk to him. He didn't respond but I told him I loved him. I feel settled now and what will be will be.

To anyone else out there in the same position I send love and social distance hugs. To those who have supported me thank you

Glad you feel better for seeing him. Such a difficult time for you, and certainly don't feel guilty for travelling. It's absolutely essential

Glad you got to see him.

How good that you've been able to see him, albeit at a distance. Do not beat yourself up for travelling to do this.

💐 glad you got to say goodbye

Thinking of you and your DM

@Jakadaal I’m glad you got to see him xx