I developed an infection from the ERCP and was in hospital all day yesterday. Had to got to A&E and wait eight hours! before seeing a doctor. I was so angry and crying all the time. I did not want to completely loose it as I did not want to make my partner more anxious than he already was yet I had no energy to control have I felt. I was in pain and had all my hormones playing up as well. When I complained to the doctor that I waited so long, he told me that he had to operate on a woman or else she would die!. I later found out that he was the only gynacologist in the hospital, running around trying to deal with everything. I felt bad that I complained and sent positive thoughts to the woman who was having the operation. I just feel frustrated that all the tax I pay goes to fund a war I do not believe in and yet I can not even get basic care. I mean they lost my urine sample twice in the course of eight hours! the A&E department was like a ghost town with two nurses and no doctors around. I was laying next room to a psyciatric patient who was laughing histerically and signing: "God save Jesus" songs. Shall I continue?
Maybe I am overreacting. It is the emotional side of things which makes it hard. I was hoping to have my delivery in that hospital and yet had to deal with another loss instead. I don't have any children. I have been dreaming about breast feeding, changing nappies, holding babies for the last few weeks. I enjoy these dreams in a way and contrary to others I also enjoy chatting to my pregnant friends and talking about babies athought I do not think I would like to see one. My brother is going to have a baby in January so I will have to get over that one.
Anyway I went on a bit, just needed a good old moan. Thanks Mrs. Wednesday and others for being there.