I've found out that my dad died a while ago.
He walked out on us when I was a small child, he was meant to have had us once a week but often wouldn't turn up for weeks/months on end, barely took us anywhere and most of the time (when he did turn up) he would he would take us back to his house and then just send us out to play in the park across the street.
Then when my parents divorce came through we didn't see him for about a year, he got married and we didn't know anything about it and he moved house, didn't tell my mum and effectively stopped turning up. One of my siblings saw him one day on the way home from school and found out where he lived (a 15 minute walk away from our house) he told my sibling that if we wanted to see him then we would have to walk to his house, I was seven and my siblings were 9 and 10.
He then moved again and nobody knew where to (not even his parents or his sibling) so contact stopped altogether. I've tried to find him numerous times over the years without success, when my grandad died we tried again but with no luck, life has thrown me a few curve balls and I stopped looking for a long time.
A couple of months ago I started looking again and now I've found out that he has died.
Not sure how I really feel, regardless of everything that happened over the years he was my dad.