My dad died today

[poppym12]

I'd been with him. We'd been out. I came home. Now he's gone. I should have stayed with him.

Sorry for your loss. Was he poorly already? Maybe he wanted to go while you weren't there to save you the pain of watching him slip away.

That’s very hard poppy, are you by yourself right now?
Was it a good trip out with him, can you think about that?

Was it unexpected? It must be a huge shock for you, feeling guilty won’t change it though, it’s just going to make things harder on you. You couldn’t have known.

Your Dad is gone.

You are devastated.

I lost my Dad, very suddenly, nearly 9 years ago.

If I had to relive that time again. I would be kinder to myself. I would have allowed myself to be more vulnerable.

Be open, be honest. Think of yourself.

Don’t put on a brave face and soldier on. Allow yourself to grieve. Vent here if it helps.

I am so, so sorry that you have lost your Dad.

I'm so sorry for your loss poppy.
Was this sudden, was he in hospital when you with were him for a while then you left to go home for a bit?
I think Mumdiva may be right that he waited until you had left, I've heard of this happening.
It sounds as if he had a good day with you in any case. I hope so.

I am so sorry

My great grandmother died after spending the day with my Dad, who she was very close to. He had been working abroad, so hadn’t been able to see her much in her last few months. He was devastated, but the view of the family was she’d been holding on to see him and spend time with him. I don’t know if your father’s death was unexpected, but it would no doubt have comforted him to know that he spent his last few hours with you. In time, when the initial devastation has abated, I’m sure it will be a comfort to you too. Losing a parent is difficult, so don’t push yourself too hard. 💐

I’m so sorry for your loss. Please don’t beat yourself up about not being with him when it happened. You know that he wouldn’t want you to feel bad about that. And you were there for him, he will know that. Sending you lots of strength.

I'm so sorry for you.

He wasn't in the best of health for years but seemed a little off colour, different,, the last few days. I managed to persuade him (with much difficulty) to see a doctor as soon as i saw him this morning.. They couldn't fit him in today so I was taking him tomorrow.

He must've fallen. I can't stand the thought that he was alone. The images in my head.....

He's been struggling a lot with grief as mum died last year. I've supported him as best I can but obviously not enough as i wasn't there at the end.

Oh poppy that’s very sad for you.

So sorry for the loss of your parents, Poppy. This can't be an easy time for you. Please take care of yourself. xx

OP I am so sorry

You weren't to know. You were doing your best for him by trying to get him to see a doctor.

so sorry for your loss

You'd done your best. Maybe he was trying to spare you in some way. There are lots of stories of people hanging on and then slipping away when a loved one leaves the room as if it's ok to go then, as @Mumdiva99 says above. Be kind to yourself, you've done so much for him and I'm sure he knew that at the end.

Thank you for being so kind.

I think I've been keeping myself together since mum died to support my dad. Now he's gone too.

So sorry @Poppym12 - do not blame yourself. You sound like a loving daughter who supported her dad the best she could. You went to see him. You made the appointment. You did your best. Be kind to yourself.

Poppy my father died last week, you are not alone. If I can offer any support I will

Sorry for your loss @poppym12

This is not your fault.

This is not your fault

You did not fail him

Take time to look after yourself

Thank you.