Elderly neighbour passed away

[chiffron78]

Hi, I think our (very nice kind and lovely) next door neighbour might have just passed away.. what's the best thing to do? We bumped into a few people hurrying in and out of their house just now, on my way to get takeaway.. wasn't paying attention, felt a bit usual, till DH suddenly realized they were all dressed in black.. what are the appropriate thing to do? Sorry we are not British born, we have very little idea of the do's and don'ts at times like this, any advice greatly appreciated.

We moved into our house 3 years ago, next door was an lovely elderly couple, we used to go to each other's house and chat. Till last year the husband was poorly and frail, in and out of hospital, ambulances.. and taken to live in a home.

After that I felt bad about keep enquiring after the husband every time I see the elderly lady at the door, as there was unlikely to be good news. They have 4 grown up children and extended families that come and visit every week. So what's the best thing to do now? We have little boys (6 and 8, not very tactful yet!) And half term in and out of house a lot, I hate it if they blurred out the wrong thing at such a sensitive time. Thank you

I would give them a condolence card and perhaps a small bunch of flowers , and if your up to it tell them you could give them a hand when it comes to packing the house hold stuff up.
But take care not to be to intrusive or seem nosy,

If they put the house on the market maybe you could help by showing around prospective buyers but it is far to early to offer to do that yet

I think a card with a few words along the lines of what you just posted would be lovely. People like to know what their relative meant to people. My dad has just died and I have met some of his neighbours recently. One said that my dad living there made her feel safer because he was always pottering about and I liked that. And it gave me a better picture of his life there because our pattern was to spend time at our house rather than his.

A card is a perfect idea.

Could it be her poorly husband who passed?

I think it is really kind of you to notice, to ask and to care. Card and flowers would be great I think.

I would definitely make sure one of them has passed away first.
Imagine going round with a card and they answer the door to you.

If people are coming to and from the house, I would assume that she is being visited/supported and perhaps it's her husband who has died as a PP suggested. I think it would be fine to ask one of the visitors when you see them coming or going if everything is ok.