Termination after abnormal readings and scans

[kyliechaplin]

I was 13 weeks pregnant, very excited about our first and the fact we conceived. The 12 week scan did not go well. Showing fluid (a lot) behind the babies neck. We were immediately sent to a referral unit 2 days later. During this wait my blood test came back at 1/7 for Edwards syndrome and Pateau syndrome. Not the news we hoped for. The referral scan showed that something will be or is seriously wrong, the baby may not make full term and if so may not survive 24hours. The fluid should be behind the neck 3.5mm or under, anything over is worrying anything over 6mm is concerning and gives 15% chance of a healthy baby, our fluid level was 13.5mm.
It was confirmed further tests wouldn’t tell us anything different. Me and my husband decided to go through a surgical termination. This has by far been the worst week of my life, I am very sore and empty.
We will get through this and move on to look at the future. Right now I just want to be sad.

I am so sorry

Of course you do. So sorry to hear of your loss. Big hugs to you. Take your time to heal and grieve.

so sorry for your loss. thus will be a heartbreaking time. be kind to yourselves.

I am so so sorry OP. I went through this too following a diagnosis of Edwards. We had been TTC for 2 years. I was utterly bereft and can understand all the conflicting emotions you must be feeling.

Please, please, just remember - You have done the right thing. you have suffered so your baby didn't have to.

I'm so sorry
Please look after yourself and take time to grieve. It's still a bereavement, even if you never got to meet your baby. You've done the right thing.

Thank you for understanding. It’s good to know your not alone. We had been trying for just over a year. I never imagined it would end like this. But I know it was for the best for the baby who would have been very poorly.

@kyliechaplin
oh, hun, I am so sorry for you and your DH's heartbreaking loss....27 years ago my DH and I were in your place....I still mourn for our LO. The pain does get bearable with time, but doesn't really go away. Please give yourselves permission to experience and mourn this loss.It may be hard for others to understand what you are going through. Your body is going to go through many changes over the next few weeks almost the same as if you'd carried to full term...at least mine did...lochia, hormonal changes, etc. Take all the time you need to heal. And being sad is the beginning of the healing process. Don't let anyone tell you that you should be " over it by now"

I’m so sorry you are going through this, we have already wrapped so much excitement and expectation, have dreams about what that child will do and what we as parents will be doing in a years time etc in the lead up to that 12 week scan. When it doesn’t go well it’s so tough to mentally navigate. Just remember, all that child has ever known is your warmth and love.

There is a good support group under the Antenatal Tests banner, I also highly recommend (if you haven’t already) chatting to the lovely ladies at ARC - www.arc-uk.org

Sending a big hug, it’s so hard.

@kyliechaplin
I pray you are feeling a little stronger today