How to keep going

[User198724]

Both my parents were diagnosed with terminal cancer, my mum passed away at Christmas following a 12mth battle. My dad is still fighting but is also declining. I just don’t know how to keep going, I feel such an aching loss for my mum and desperately miss her. I can’t see how this will get any easier anytime soon.

Sending strength and hugs

It probably won't feel any easier for a while. And don't be afraid of seeking some good bereavement counselling after your dad passes.

I've always believed in living my life in a way that would make my lost loved ones proud. Be confident, when your instinct is to hide. Make plans when you feel hopeless. Make others smile, when you feel you have no reason to do so yourself.

OP I am so sorry that you're going through this. All I can advise is trying to accept that this is going to hurt for a while, but you will find a way through it. I can well remember when my brother died desperately wanting to feel better, but grief is a long process. It will get easier eventually.

So very sorry, OP

It's as if you don't have the room to grieve for your mum because your dad is also failing in health.

As others have said, there is no way this not going to be hard for you, both now and probably the future, grieving being what it is. It will not get easier soon, though everyone's "easier" will differ. I hold down a responsible job well, pay my bills on time and socialise. Do I feel it's easier? No. I did all those things before. Still, my life feels irredeemably fucked after my DH's death, while externally OK.

I don't say this to bring you down but to recognise that grief is so unruly. The waves metaphor so often used is an apt one.

Don't hesitate to seek professional help for this.

Many