Friends sudden death affecting my relationships

[AMANursery]

Hi,
My very close friend died suddenly a few years ago. I’d been with her a few hours before she died and she was fine. She had a sudden heart attack and died, leaving two young daughters.

I am still mourning but I feel like I have dealt with her death.

However, I’ve noticed that I struggle to form relationships with people massively. A part of me assumes everyone is going to to die - I even struggled to bond with my son. I didn’t want to get too close incase the worst happened. Has this happened to anyone else that maybe dealt with something similar? How did you overcome it?

Thank you

I’m so sorry for your loss. I think it would probably be wise to seek some therapy to overcome this as it sounds like it is really affecting your relationships.

I should - shouldn’t I. It’s something I’ve been putting off since it happened but everyone tells me I should. Thank you @DICarter1

Yes I think I'd look at some bereavement counselling as it sounds like you have anxiety surrounding it now, which is natural but needs addressing. I'm sorry for the loss of your friend.

I'm very sorry about the loss of your dear friend . I think the other posters' advice is wise. It must have been such a shock to lose her.

Be excessively gentle with yourself AMA

Oh that sounds horrible, just horrible for you.
Maybe bereavement counselling will help.

It’s the suddenness the tragedy and the finality of it isn’t it. They are there then they are gone, no warning, no clue, just gone.
The world just carries on. Does the world not know what has happened? Just continues like nothing has happened.

You just don’t know what is around the corner.
Speak to someone, pull out the threads and heal the wounds.

I think definitely get help with this. I lost my closest and dearest person suddenly. Devastating but I identify the pain I feel as the price of this love. This love was so worth it. I am so very fortunate to have had the years we had together.

I felt like this after the sudden death of my DH. I looked at all middle-aged couples thinking - you'll be dead soon. Not a vengeful or envious way, just a profound sense of how it could all be snatched away.

This was over three years ago and followed soon after his death, though it passed in a few months. I don't have the same feelings you have now, though I do feel I have changed in other ways, none of them nice.

What other posters have said sounds right, some counselling could be in order. The very wonderful book "Coping With Grief"by Mal and Dianne McKissock makes it very plain that while all emotions after bereavement are valid, their extremity and/or capacity to interfere with life argues a need for another person to speak to, very likely professional.