Year 3 groundhog day

[pavilion]

Nearly 3 yrs since my husband died. Not moving forward keep going over the same things. Why did he have to die alone. Was he afraid. I cant change the past but cant get beyond this part. Didn't get to hold him or say goodbye, cant change it so why do I keep going over it every year.

My DH died three years ago in June this year. My life is all OK on the surface, utter hell beneath.

pavIlion I burst into tears and spilled my drink (literally)
when I read your post.
My DH died suddenly and I'm haunted by this, though I infer from your post that the circumstances might not be the same.

Would you like to say more about your husband?

echt hi, he was working away had printed off his return tickets but felt unwell and went to bed. Missing for a few days as everyone thought he was flying. Eventually got police to go to his hotel 4 days after he died. Just an awful way to go he was a lovely man. Flew his body home but we couldn't see him body condition too far gone. So suppose I have never had closure. I was busy in the few weeks before he died supporting a friend so didn't get to talk to him as much as usual feel so guilty I didn't pick up he was feeling I'll too preoccupied. Cant change any of it but still feel so sad. Always worse this time of year around the month of his death, oh yes and wine was involved in my first post too. I too have a perfected surface facade of I'm ok life goes on but cry in the car on the way to work every day. And just do not feel happiness life very flat how about you echt.